Herman by Jim Unger for July 17, 2021

Only when I laugh, doc.

Maybe he should try out for the Rockettes.

Only when i try to bend it you Quack.

“No, I just like to show it off.”

Ask him about his hip, Doc.

His knee is fine, but his ankle is unraveling…

No, I just like to practice my goose-stepping.

Can anyone tell me why it’s called a goose step? I have observed thousands of geese at or pond over the past couple of decades. None of them walk this way; they sort of waddle.

No Doc, I always walk around with a stiff one

Ministry of Silly Walks

Nah, I got the problem straightened out.

Yes it is doc, this durn, left knee keeps bending on me and spoiling my Jimmy Cagney walk

Only when I do this. Well, stop doing that.

My wife starched my pants, but only the one leg took.

I went to the clinic because the top of my (bald) head was swollen after I’d been stung by yellow jackets. The clerk couldn’t help staring but still had to be told twice why I was there.

Geese have no knees, and in ‘goose-stepping’, the knees do not bend. It’s not a perfect metaphor, but it explains the origin of the term as it pertains to military marching.

“I just wanted to show you I shaved my legs.”

Well, at least something still gets stiff.

Nah, he’s just practicing his place kicking.

I’m good, but it bothers the heck out of my wife.

https://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-goo3.htm

Could he try out as a punter for the NFL?

“Not at all doc, look how long I’m able to keep my leg straight.”

“Not at all doc, I’m just here for my physical before I sign the contract to be the new placekicker on the football team.”

“Not at all doc, but I do seem to be having this little issue with my hip.”

(With a nod of acknowledgement to Al Jaffee)