That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for July 01, 2021

After this incident, the town council passed a law against drunk produce shopping.

Early experiments in “Farm to Table” needed more work.

“He was going to take the last good apple!”

I, hic, I own thish market place. Anybody else want to tell me what I can and can’t do in my own market?

You didn’t pay the head tax on that cabbage! I’m going to have to impound all of it.

Going shopping on Black Friday? No. / It just isn’t worth saving some dough. / All the shoppers are wild, / (they once trampled my child). / These are “bargains” I’ll gladly forego.

Early “swatters” thought it was funny to send the Wedding Crashers to the wrong address.

“Call me high-strung and hot-tempered, will you?”

How it happened is still in dispute, / but a theatre troupe passing en route / to their subsequent show / enraged greengrocers so, / they threw bad actors at rotten fruit.

Long before brownies were invented, fun-seeking people used to spike turnips and cauliflowers.

I told you to cut Popeye off but No! You had to overserve him spinach!

That seller of produce invented / a quick way to get fruit fermented. / At the mart, unaware, / townsfolk sampled them there / and soon several swooned, quite demented. /// Back then all the victims lamented / that this ought to have been prevented. / Today we think twice / and follow advice: / Don’t eat fruit from cans which are dented.

“My, what big turnips you’ve got.”

The fight at the County Fair/ brought enjoyment to everyone there/ but it fell somewhat short/ of genuine sport:/ they’d rather be baiting a bear.

Who’d have thought that the guy in the suit/ could bring down that big brawling brute ?/ It just goes to show/ that you just never know/ who will win when they fight over fruit..

It’s a cute little genre scene/ in a world that seems shining and clean/ and that’s how it end./ But nowadays, friends/ he’d be back with his AR-15.

OSHA guy inspecting doorway to see if it is handicapped accessible.

Look people, this is the 21st Century. You can buy and sell all that stuff on ebay in the comfort of your hovels. Then our quaint little town won’t have you unwashed masses cluttering the streets and distressing the tourists.

Let one drunk Irishman into the country and this is what we get! The only difference between an Irish Wake and an Irish Wedding is one less drunk!

I just wanted you to increase the volume on the radio. Geez!

MAN IN BLACK: YOU THERE! ON THE FLOOR! GET UP. No one is accepting that invitation!

It’s amazing the staggering amount of damage two people can do.

Another satisfactory conclusion to a public political debate.

Who would have thought these cabbage patch dolls would be such a success. And they’re just the heads of cabbage.

Two Drunkards at the Market near the Westerkerk in Amsterdam: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Two_Drunkards_at_the_Market_near_the_Westerkerk_in_Amsterdam_by_Peter_Paul_Joseph_No%C3%ABl_Rijksmuseum_Amsterdam_SK-A-1089.jpg 

{best viewed with Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages as necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/06/masterpiece-2739.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

It beets me why we can’t wait to see what turnips.

Two drunkards walked into a Market, / then one made a nasty remark. It / was followed by brawling / and on the stall falling / when one was told, “Hey, boozer, park it!”

Phillip’s food for the poor drive, ran into a bit of trouble when no one liked his stuff and pelted him with it.

with a surname like noël, i’m curious why the parents didn’t just go with “kris kringle”…

These would be much more enjoyable if it were possible to enlarge the picture to legibility…. and coherence.

We came into that market for lunch, / thinking fruit would be perfect to munch. / But when he saw me slip / he asked, “Have a nice trip?” / So I got up and gave him a punch.

This used to be a first class restaurant until we let the college crowd in?