Rubes by Leigh Rubin for August 15, 2021

But they get it to you overnight…

Solo shipping: when it has to be there in less than twelve parsecs

Don’t do it – it’s a pyramid scheme!

Should have gone with Amazon Prime.

Aliens got to eat too.

Tutanscamman

Guaranteed to keep your razor blades from rusting.

and your warranty is about to expire

and now you know…the rest of the story.

Where’s GENT when you need him?

Aha. Just what the ancient astronaut theorists had always suspected!

But wait – there’s more!

I’m going to start a shipping company. TARDIS Express. When it absolutely positively has to be there before you ordered it.

But wait, there’s more!

Would like to buy the extended warranty on that?

When did there become eight?

Not sold in stores

’Scuse me, Mr. Alien: There are SEVEN wonders of the ancient world!

Some assembly required? :>)