Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for September 14, 2021

The following is a JOKE. It is ONLY a joke. (I hope it’s the funny kind; it’s nothing I would ever do.)

An executive and his secretary make an overnight business trip to another town, but when they arrive at their hotel, there’s only one room left. Fortunately, it has two beds, but, as they find out that night, very poor heating. They get into their respective beds, but a few minutes later, the secretary says, “Mister Executive, I’m cold. Would you please get up and get me a blanket?” The executive grumbles, but brings her a blanket.

A few minutes later, the secretary asks again, “Oh, Mister Executive – I’m still cold. Would you please get up and get me another blanket?”

The executive sighs and says, “Well, Miss Secretary, instead of my bringing you a blanket, how would you like to pretend you’re MRS. Executive tonight?”

“Oooh, I’d like that, Mister Executive,” she replies.

“Good,” says the executive. “Now get up and get your own damn’ blanket!”

I once had a cat with 33 ear muscles.

Jason, where do I pay my royalty?

Is the solar bikini even water proof? Wouldn’t want to short circuit the USB port(s).

The solar bikini is shocking! er, electrifying?

That cat looks really bored. “Thanks, like I care about my ear muscles. Feed me.”

Cats don’t use 32 muscles a day.

Well, that’s one way to makes sunbathing more useful.

Did Dr. Pandey conduct any preconception exercises?

That all was really worth knowing !

Getting fresh with a woman wearing that bikini could be a shocking experience.

32 ear muscles, yet they never listen. Go figure.

“Invented…” There’s no invention here. He put the device that benefits from having the most surface into the garment that benefits from having the least surface.

I believe it about the cat. I can tell what my cats’ moods are from their ears.

Eerie ear fact to ’ear. ~ Andy Capp, fresh out of the canal

Take care, may feared constable Lliam Fleeimord be with you, and gesundheit.

How did they all get pregnant , I wonder ? Sorry I just had to ask that .

Do vibrators have USB charging ports? (Asking for a friend.)

Here’s my story and not as scary as my last one! The newlyweds arrive at their honeymoon suite and proceed to go to bed together for the first time! He immediately rolls on his side facing away from her and starts to go to sleep! Oh a jokester she thinks and says “Honey can i please sleep on the other side?” He sighs and says “Sure.” Instead of walking around the bed, she rolls over him, pausing for a while halfway! When she finally reaches the other side, he, again, rolls over and proceeds to go to sleep! This is not funny she thinks and says “Honey I’ve changed my mind and I want to go back to the other side after all.” “Is that OK?” He utters an expletive and says “Whatever!” So she moves to the other side the same way as the first time only, this time, she lingers halfway even longer! He finally pushes her over and she ,being at her wit’s end and definitely tired of his game says “Honey you know what I want don’t you?” To which he replies “Hell yes…you want the whole damn bed!” How’s that Steve? No hammers this time!

I hope Dr. Pandey wasn’t the one who got them all pregnant.

That’s nothing. I had Bill Gates implant solar microchips in my body so I can charge my devices while nude sunbathing.

And how many participants delivered their babies during the class?

“Believe It, Or… So What?!?”

I’ll bet a girls wearing the solar bikinis gets tired of guys coming up to them and asking if they can plug in.

Great, more motivation to risk skin cancer.

@ DawnQuinn

Replied to your reply from yesterday. Sorry my post gave you the wrong impression.

Why just a bikini? Why not a full suit of clothes? Or, is it only available in a bikini to get women to show off what their mother’s gave them.

I believe that about the muscles in a cats ear. Our cat can turn his, almost backwards.