Here’s a word of encouragement for anyone down on his luck, or on her luck. (I absolutely refuse to say “their luck.” I don’t care what copy editors do.)
A man is in a casino, down to his last five dollars. As he begins to leave, he hears a small voice say, “Go to the roulette table.” He looks around, sees no one, shrugs his shoulders, and walks over to the roulette table.
“Put your five dollars on red 23,” says the voice. The man thinks, well, it’s my last five dollars, but it’s only five dollars, so he puts the fiver on red 23. The wheel spins, and BAM! the little ball falls into red 23, and the croupier pushes over $175 dollars.
“Now put it all on black 10,” says the voice. Quite excited now, the man puts the $175 on the suggested bet. Again the wheel spins, and again BAM! The ball stays in black 10, and this time the man receives over $6,000 for his bet.
Again the little voice speaks. “Bet it all on red 34.” Without hesitation, the man pushes all his money onto that bet. The wheel once more spins…and the ball lands in double zero.
Woah! That thing about the spiny leaf insect eggs is super interesting. It’s practically the same evolutionary technique of fruiting plants. I’ve never heard of an animal doing something like that before.
If !‘ve told this one on RBION before, forgive me! An elderly Jewish fellow walks into a butcher shop, walks straight to the meat display and says “How much for those veal chops?” The butcher says "They’re not veal chops they’re pork chops!" The man says “Did I ask you vat de hell dey vere?” At least this was short and, I hope, a little sweet! Jofers out!
A young married couple went to Vegas for their honeymoon, and after a 3 day weekend they were exhausted, and nearly broke. Hubby awoke first, peered into his billfold and found $2.00. So, not quite broke. Wifey was still asleep and hung over as Hubby got dressed, and she awoke as he was leaving. “Where you going?” she asked. “I found $2.00 in my billfold. I thought I’d go back down to the casino and see if my luck has changed.” And off he went. His first stop was the slot machines. He invested his last $2.00, but ended up with $40.00. Good start, he thought. He then went to play Black Jack, and ran the $40.00 up to over $400.00. Then he went to the Craps table, and ran the $400 up to $4000. Boy was he on fire. He thought he’d just make a stop at the Roulette Wheel on his way back up the room, and felt so lucky he put it all on Black 23. Bad move. Red 34 came up. He went back to the room and his wife was up by now and she asked him “How did it go Honey? Did you have better luck?” He looked her right in the eyes, and knew he couldn’t begin a long marriage with a lie.
eromlig about 3 years ago
Here’s a word of encouragement for anyone down on his luck, or on her luck. (I absolutely refuse to say “their luck.” I don’t care what copy editors do.)
A man is in a casino, down to his last five dollars. As he begins to leave, he hears a small voice say, “Go to the roulette table.” He looks around, sees no one, shrugs his shoulders, and walks over to the roulette table.
“Put your five dollars on red 23,” says the voice. The man thinks, well, it’s my last five dollars, but it’s only five dollars, so he puts the fiver on red 23. The wheel spins, and BAM! the little ball falls into red 23, and the croupier pushes over $175 dollars.
“Now put it all on black 10,” says the voice. Quite excited now, the man puts the $175 on the suggested bet. Again the wheel spins, and again BAM! The ball stays in black 10, and this time the man receives over $6,000 for his bet.
Again the little voice speaks. “Bet it all on red 34.” Without hesitation, the man pushes all his money onto that bet. The wheel once more spins…and the ball lands in double zero.
The little voice says, “Oh, crap.”
Templo S.U.D. about 3 years ago
What’s to become of all those Portuguese anchors? Just let them slowly crumble and hope you don’t step on any shards?
monkeysky about 3 years ago
Woah! That thing about the spiny leaf insect eggs is super interesting. It’s practically the same evolutionary technique of fruiting plants. I’ve never heard of an animal doing something like that before.
Bilan about 3 years ago
Insect mash for dinner? That’s making my dinner seem a whole lot better.
Susan00100 about 3 years ago
Betcha that hotel pays Rosey more than the Jetsons ever did!!
therese_callahan2002 about 3 years ago
“So I called up the robot. Please bring me my wine.”
oakie817 about 3 years ago
i can’t believe that…who would name a robot rose?
Huckleberry Hiroshima about 3 years ago
My great uncle Al chewed like that.
Take care, may famed myrmecologist Lucy “I’m Small But Fast” Thoraxord be with you, and gesundheit.
mindjob about 3 years ago
I wonder if Rose can take the elevator
joefearsnothing about 3 years ago
If !‘ve told this one on RBION before, forgive me! An elderly Jewish fellow walks into a butcher shop, walks straight to the meat display and says “How much for those veal chops?” The butcher says "They’re not veal chops they’re pork chops!" The man says “Did I ask you vat de hell dey vere?” At least this was short and, I hope, a little sweet! Jofers out!
Rich C. Premium Member about 3 years ago
Rosé the robot just took another human’s job. Yep, just keep demanding those wage increases.
Charlie Fogwhistle about 3 years ago
A young married couple went to Vegas for their honeymoon, and after a 3 day weekend they were exhausted, and nearly broke. Hubby awoke first, peered into his billfold and found $2.00. So, not quite broke. Wifey was still asleep and hung over as Hubby got dressed, and she awoke as he was leaving. “Where you going?” she asked. “I found $2.00 in my billfold. I thought I’d go back down to the casino and see if my luck has changed.” And off he went. His first stop was the slot machines. He invested his last $2.00, but ended up with $40.00. Good start, he thought. He then went to play Black Jack, and ran the $40.00 up to over $400.00. Then he went to the Craps table, and ran the $400 up to $4000. Boy was he on fire. He thought he’d just make a stop at the Roulette Wheel on his way back up the room, and felt so lucky he put it all on Black 23. Bad move. Red 34 came up. He went back to the room and his wife was up by now and she asked him “How did it go Honey? Did you have better luck?” He looked her right in the eyes, and knew he couldn’t begin a long marriage with a lie.
“I lost the $2.00”, he said.
The Pro from Dover about 3 years ago
Does Rosé make pineapple upside-down cake?
pbr50138 about 3 years ago
“Rosie”? A clear takeoff from the Jetsons.