Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for November 05, 2021

Veteran’s Day is fast approaching (It’s November 11th no matter what the Three Day Weekend crowd wants to tell us) and I honor all who serve or have served. I also hope this puts a smile on some of their faces…especially the sergeants among them:

A very nervous PFC is up in the plane, preparing for his first parachute jump. “Nothing to it,” says his Sergeant. “You just jump out the door, yell ‘Geronimo!’ and pull your ripcord.”

“I’m still not so sure, Sarge,” says the private, after the others had jumped.

“I’ll show you how,” the Sergeant replies, and helpfully pushes the young man out the door.

The pilot takes the aircraft back to base, and, after it taxis to a stop, the Sergeant gets out…and sees the private, parachute still fully packed on his back, clinging to the landing gear.

“What the —” the top shirt starts.

The private says, “Sarge, what was the name of that Indian again?”

This is the first I ever heard of the “borg”, but it seems like a pretty huge discovery (no pun intended, although technically it’s microscopic).

If researchers could figure out even some of the mechanisms for how it assimilates specific genes from nearby cells, it could be a massive breakthrough for gene therapy.

Whoever officiated those eighty dog weddings must’ve gotten a sore throat.

I’m glad those dogs are no longer living in sin.

“I now pronounce you dog and….can’t say the word for female dog.”

Villa Park is going to be Puppy City in several weeks. Woof. Bark. Arf. Growl. Etc.

Take care, may famed televangelist “Reverand” Joel “Yes, You Can Buy Your Way To Heaven, As Long As The Check Is Written To Me” Olsteenord be with you, and gesundheit.

I can see the Borg in a bar. “Drinks are irrelevant. They will be assimilated. Hic!”

That dog doesn’t look at all well. Must have been one hell of a stag!

I imagine the cow was in a tree and rescued after the floodwater receded

What we need is an Anti-Borg structure which would get rid of un-useful genes

After the mass dog wedding, there was a mass dog divorce because grooms spent the reception humping their owners’ legs.

That cow thought she saw the moon through the tree and decided to jump it.

What band of loons thought a pageant where they dressed up dogs and married them was a good idea? They gotta stop eating paint chips in Illinois.

The groom was a greyhound. He looked dashing. The bride was a retriever. She looked fetching.

Thanks to climate change, those wetlands are going to be desertscape soon enough….

My son, he could’ve done so much better…

Love the misplaced modifier, assuming the scientists weren’t buried in the mud.

What happened to the artwork?

Why were those scientists even taking dna samples in the wetlands?