Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for December 02, 2021

Taking ‘capsule hotel’ to extremes, aren’t we?

Wow—this is very different, and also funny. Can’t ask for more!

I always wondered where elves come from.

Gee whiz, I always assumed they were created the old-fashioned way.

They’re like instant Martians — just add water.

Woah!! Glad they don’t have Unions, or Santa would be in deep trouble.

He wasn’t satisfied with the last elf he bought off the shelf.

A bubble gum machine with Santa elves?

This is so wrong on so many levels.

Subordinate Clauses

Elves don’t grow on trees, doncha know?

These aren’t your ordinary Elf’s on a shelf…

So are surplus elves sold as Elf on the Shelf?

Who refills it when it gets low?

Brian Gumball should do an exposure piece on this.

No, do the growing vat with all of them naked and still connected to an umbilical cord.

That’s how most employers think of their workers.

Workers are a dime a dozen.

Children should not be exposed to the sad truths behind the production of their toys until they are beyond Santa Claus.

Wow! Santa has an elf-ball machine!

Where can I get one of those.

…or they are in an arcade game with the claw that comes down…“oh the humanity”

I thought he kept them on a shelf

Well, this explains a lot.