Close to Home by John McPherson for December 24, 2021

[W.C. Fields voice] Get away from me, kid, ya bother me…

Santa passed away in 1876 either 39 or 40 years after being responsible for the death of the legendary Dave Crockett.

Zebra candy canes…

Naughty or Nice…Check out the Girl (lower left) with the black eye. Guessing she was naughty – Getting into a few fights.

Now I only wish for some cushions at my landing plaaaaceee!!!

NEXT! And make it quick, or else…

It better be waterproof as well. I’ve heard stories.

Some kids return 7 or 8 times for the ride.

Oy!

Only allow three wishes!

Merry Christmas!!!

A take on Graham Norton’s Big Red Chair

Lets hope Santa dosen’t put it on upside down ! Ouch !

“…and now, let’s get a look at local news… a well known department store is now owned by its youngest owner ever.”

“Timmy Johnson of Elmdale, now owns the store after he successfully sued the store for injuries he received when a Lap-Eject™ device (a child ejection system built specifically for mall Santa’s) malfunctioned and face-planted little Timmy onto the concrete floor. When interviewed, the stores newest owner replied: …”

“I nreally nidnt wahnt to thu na snore, but nay hadda be nhaught a lethon!”

Sort off the opposite of a Lapplander.

In my town that’s what Santa’s elves were for.

I needed one of those for my cheating ex-girlfriend!

That kid looks a little too old to be a lap rider.

Who really wants to lap dance with Santa anyway?

Merry Christmas to all. Merry Christmas to our missing friends, Strob, Po’Dawg, LeoJim, theLost Wizard and more. Merry Christmas to our missing friends, and to all our friends who are missing someone special this year.

Look for Bleeb tomorrow. . . :)

Need that for grocery checkouts as well. Can’t understand why some customers want to ramble on and on with the cashier about the catheter a nurse put in for them

Should have been a SPROING! in there somewhere.