Junk Drawer by Ellis Rosen for December 17, 2021

Poor bears.

Here’s a dark secret: this “cartoonist” should seek another line of work.

I’ll give you a report, just pull my finger.

Walks into the wrong Hollywood set again, eh.

I would watch both.

deadpan delivery “Everybody’s got secrets in this town”…. cut to images of people looking and acting depressed to dissonant sounding Hans Zimmer synth pads… “Someone let ’em all out”…. cue that screeching metallic scratch sound they use in every film trailer when the ante gets upped, and cut to images of people od’ing on pills, drinking from whiskey bottles, and someone pulling a gun case from under the bed… more ominous sounding synth pads… “Someone’s gonna pay for what they’ve done to us.”… cue faster even more ominous Zimmer pads and cut fast to explosions, gunshots, cars wrecking, someone running through foggy trees with that whomp-whomp-whomp hammering sound between each cut… then dead silence and a black screen revealing movie title… and the obligatory “Rated R”.

I just finished both of those books!!

Why is it always a grisly murder? Why can’t it be the OCD town where even the murderers are neat.

Clever!

Yeah, you got the wrong town, buddy.

What did she expect from an alcoholic.

An easy mistake. Happens often.