Ben by Daniel Shelton for January 11, 2022

Those adult-proof bottles are almost that bad.

“That’s what it’s all about”

…And then ask your grandchild to open it.

I hate these new ones that require a very strong pressure on both sides to pop the top off. It is exceedingly difficult and one, when it popped, shot the top across the room and distributed the contents all over the kitchen counter (which was lucky)…

Now, put it in a brown paper bag, go out onto your front lawn, swing the bag around your head, and scream like a chicken!

I remember seeing “Shake Well” on a jar of Hooter’s Wing sauce. The stuff has the consistency of peanut butter.

Follow through man! Or, do as I do. Trim the tabs on the bottle. A few swipes with meta file sometimes. ( No kids in the house.) You’ve got a metal file in your medicine cabinet don’t you?

OK, now they’re just messin’ with him.

Make sure to check the label with a microscope, so your sure it’s the right medication.

I’m sure that by now everyone knows that you can request no safety caps on your meds from your pharmacy and your mail order provider.

Remember to take the “Follow the Instructions” pills before starting on these.

He’d better check which pill bottle he’s trying to open. Might be one of those gag bottles full of candy from the novelty store.

I hate childproof caps or a different cap option, when there’s no children in this house and never will be.

My problem is that most lids are made large so children can’t open them. I wear children’s gloves (and shoes) even though I am not a “little person”, taller than them – but still rather short and small framed (though fat) so my hands are too small to open the safety bottle tops.

I hate to have to wake up husband during the night or bother him when I need an aspirin or such for him to open the bottle for me.