Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for February 27, 2022

I’m old and I don’t make sound effects.

My body creaks, crackles, pops and snaps — I’m not old – I’m crispy.

It’s not the sound effects that bother me, it’s the pain that goes along with it.

I’m middle-aged, and I don’t remember that.

My granny got up and made a sound that made the dog run out of the room!

I’m 77, and spend a half hour every other day bouncing on a mini trampoline with a 10 lb weight in each hand, swinging them in every direction I can. There are great workout videos on Youtube. I am improving- I’m more limber, and when I started 3 weeks ago I was using 3 lb weights.

I’m having trouble remembering why I wanted to get up in the first place…

In my case, the sounds come also from my mouth — groans and grunts.

If my joints would just learn to play a recognizable symphony, I’d be happy.

Sound effects and throwing my back out. I’ve thrown my back out turning to the side, squatting to get something off the floor, reaching for something, getting out of bed, getting up off the couch, breathing…

I hate it when I get up, don’t remember why I got up, wander the whole house, go sit down again, and THEN remember, I hafta go cr*p!

whine and complaining? Proverbs 16:31: Gray hair is a crown of glory. Thank God you can still feel the pain. Graveyards full of stiff people folks. Get a moving – and shut the trap.

I call it “flatulence”.

I can remember when I was able to get up.

That’s funny! No it’s true!

Reminds me of Gabe Kaplan on Welcome Back, Kotter, after getting out of bed with a groan one morning: “Oh, no, that’s my father’s noise!”

I make sounds sitting down, as well as standing up.

Well, I can remember when the Sound Effects were just a Joke.

I can get up without making sound effects, I just like them so I choose not to!