Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich for March 12, 2022

The husband’s machine is set on “nag.”

Does it take all the covers, too?

I think she omitted one. Probably a tad … … … … indelicate.

She forgot burping, farting, and the sound of scratching the nether regions.

We both make noises while sleeping. Sleep machines are the greatest.

or that would be a recording of you…

I took care of the wife’s snoring, I sleep with babysitter

Good thing you don’t have one of those aromatherapy machines…

Why not divorce him???

The higher-priced model has a “wind” setting. Breaking wind, that is.

She is, after all, saying she will miss him.

I served onboard a Polaris submarine and we had 2 separate crews. When one crew was on the ship the other crew was back at home and we’d swap every 3 months. We’d fly out of Charleston Air Force base to Rota Spain. 5 minutes after the plane left several wives would go to the bar at the base and pick up guys. I wonder why we had a 50% divorce rate?

Most of my bed partners have snored, though not loudly enough to wake me in the middle of the night. I’ve found the sound oddly comforting. (And now I have my bladder to wake me in the middle of the night.)