As Passover continues, so does my Jewish Humor Week – enjoy!
Moishe has received a moped for his birthday. He’s excited, of course, but he’s also from an Observant family, so he goes to his Orthodox rabbi to learn what rules may govern such a bequeath. “Rabbi,” Moishe begins, “Is it permissible to ride a moped on Shabbat?”
“What’s a moped?” the rabbi wants to know. Well, Moishe isn’t quite sure how to describe the mostly-bicycle, partly powered two-wheel vehicle he now owns, so he just shrugs his shoulders and leaves, headed to the other rabbi in town at the Reform Synagogue.Arriving at the Reform Synagogue, though stealthily (remember, Moishe is from an Orthodox family whose credo is not to be caught dead in such an establishment) he finds the rabbi and asks the same question: “Is it permissible to ride a moped on Shabbat?”
The Reform rabbi simply shrugs his shoulders, and responds, “What’s Shabbat?”
Grimaldi was buried at a park in London which is now named after him. In 2010, the park added a memorial installation of bronze tiles which could be danced on to play a song famously associated with “Joey’s” act.
Also, for those who don’t want to do the math, each member of Aww Shucks had to shuck an ear of corn ever 9.5 seconds on average.
None of these are very difficult to believe. Here’s a stupid joke: A timid farmer goes to see his doctor for a physical. After discussing this and that, bedroom activities are mentioned. The doctor prescribes the little blue pill, and the patient agrees to come back in two weeks. [I’m lucky if my damn doctor can fit me in in two months, no matter what’s wrong.] The farmer does return in two weeks. “So, how did it go with those pills?” the doctor asked. “I felt uncomfortable taking them. I mean, what if my wife found out? So I dumped them in the well.” The doctor shook his head. “I wonder if that would affect your water supply.” “Who knows?” said the farmer. “We can’t pump water because the handle won’t go down.”
It’s hard to find a good joke involving corn. Most of them are just corny, and many of the rest are just disgusting versions of a single joke. But I did manage to find this one.
A guy brings his new blonde girlfriend to a family dinner. His parents are devoutly religious and he was born and raised in the south, so he’s nervous – he gave her some pointers beforehand so everything would go smoothly.
After having a lovely conversation where his parents have warmed up to his girlfriend, they sit at the table and dig in. The guy is enjoying a bite of steak and glances over at her, almost spitting it out-
Embarrassed, he nudges her and whispers, “Babe, nobody eats corn the long way!”
An Oklahoma State Trooper pulls over a circus clown for speeding.
The trooper asks the clown “Why were you driving so fast?” The clown says, “I’m headed to Tulsa for a circus show and I don’t want to be late.” The trooper asks the clown, “What do you do in the show?” “I’m a juggler” says the clown.
“Alright” says the trooper, “If you juggle for me here, I won’t give you a ticket.” The clown says, “I don’t have my equipment, it got sent ahead of me.”
The trooper says excitedly, “I’ve got some flares in the back of my car.”
As the clown begins juggling the flares on the side of the road, a good-old boy, drunk off his ass, pulls in behind the trooper to witness the spectacle. After watching for a few minutes, the man then climbs into the back seat of the squad car.
The trooper, having never seen a man arrest himself before, walks over to the man and asks, “What are you doin, son?”
The man says “You may as well take me to jail now, ‘cause I ain’t gonna pass that test.”
Famous story about Joseph Grimaldi,which you ran yourself many years ago.
A man walks into a doctor’s office and announces that he is terminally depressed by life and that he was considering suicide,
The doctor says—“The answer to your problem is simple.Go to teh circus tonight and see Grimaldi,The Clown.grimaldi is the funniest man alive.He will make you laugh and forget your troubles”
eromlig over 2 years ago
As Passover continues, so does my Jewish Humor Week – enjoy!
Moishe has received a moped for his birthday. He’s excited, of course, but he’s also from an Observant family, so he goes to his Orthodox rabbi to learn what rules may govern such a bequeath. “Rabbi,” Moishe begins, “Is it permissible to ride a moped on Shabbat?”
“What’s a moped?” the rabbi wants to know. Well, Moishe isn’t quite sure how to describe the mostly-bicycle, partly powered two-wheel vehicle he now owns, so he just shrugs his shoulders and leaves, headed to the other rabbi in town at the Reform Synagogue.Arriving at the Reform Synagogue, though stealthily (remember, Moishe is from an Orthodox family whose credo is not to be caught dead in such an establishment) he finds the rabbi and asks the same question: “Is it permissible to ride a moped on Shabbat?”
The Reform rabbi simply shrugs his shoulders, and responds, “What’s Shabbat?”
monkeysky over 2 years ago
Grimaldi was buried at a park in London which is now named after him. In 2010, the park added a memorial installation of bronze tiles which could be danced on to play a song famously associated with “Joey’s” act.
Also, for those who don’t want to do the math, each member of Aww Shucks had to shuck an ear of corn ever 9.5 seconds on average.
Templo S.U.D. over 2 years ago
Was the All Saints’ Church even physically attended February 2020, 2021, and 2022 with this coronavirus pandemic going on?
meg_grif over 2 years ago
All those clowns arrive at the church in the same Barbie car.
Caldonia over 2 years ago
None of these are very difficult to believe. Here’s a stupid joke: A timid farmer goes to see his doctor for a physical. After discussing this and that, bedroom activities are mentioned. The doctor prescribes the little blue pill, and the patient agrees to come back in two weeks. [I’m lucky if my damn doctor can fit me in in two months, no matter what’s wrong.] The farmer does return in two weeks. “So, how did it go with those pills?” the doctor asked. “I felt uncomfortable taking them. I mean, what if my wife found out? So I dumped them in the well.” The doctor shook his head. “I wonder if that would affect your water supply.” “Who knows?” said the farmer. “We can’t pump water because the handle won’t go down.”
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
It’s hard to find a good joke involving corn. Most of them are just corny, and many of the rest are just disgusting versions of a single joke. But I did manage to find this one.
A guy brings his new blonde girlfriend to a family dinner. His parents are devoutly religious and he was born and raised in the south, so he’s nervous – he gave her some pointers beforehand so everything would go smoothly.
After having a lovely conversation where his parents have warmed up to his girlfriend, they sit at the table and dig in. The guy is enjoying a bite of steak and glances over at her, almost spitting it out-
Embarrassed, he nudges her and whispers, “Babe, nobody eats corn the long way!”
Until next time.
James Wolfenstein over 2 years ago
Believe it or not, most RBION factoids are based on human stupidity :D
NeedaChuckle Premium Member over 2 years ago
What I find strange is people shucking the corn in the store so it dries out faster before they eat it!!
markhughw over 2 years ago
the husk but not all of the silk, most likely
oakie817 over 2 years ago
i can’t believe you didn’t print the Grimaldi story in February
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 2 years ago
And the four from Alabama were promptly recruited by Nebraska.
Take care, may famed football coach Bob “Yes I Do Soak My Cigars In Jack Daniels” Devanord be with you, and gesundheit.
FassEddie over 2 years ago
An Oklahoma State Trooper pulls over a circus clown for speeding.
The trooper asks the clown “Why were you driving so fast?” The clown says, “I’m headed to Tulsa for a circus show and I don’t want to be late.” The trooper asks the clown, “What do you do in the show?” “I’m a juggler” says the clown.
“Alright” says the trooper, “If you juggle for me here, I won’t give you a ticket.” The clown says, “I don’t have my equipment, it got sent ahead of me.”
The trooper says excitedly, “I’ve got some flares in the back of my car.”
As the clown begins juggling the flares on the side of the road, a good-old boy, drunk off his ass, pulls in behind the trooper to witness the spectacle. After watching for a few minutes, the man then climbs into the back seat of the squad car.
The trooper, having never seen a man arrest himself before, walks over to the man and asks, “What are you doin, son?”
The man says “You may as well take me to jail now, ‘cause I ain’t gonna pass that test.”
WCraft Premium Member over 2 years ago
It would be fun to see the look on the traffic patrol officer’s face when the Barbie doll car, driven by a little girl, gets pulled over…
mindjob over 2 years ago
As impressive as those Barbie cars are, they don’t have anything on their lawn mowers
Gweedo -it's legal here- Murray over 2 years ago
How long before someone soups up a Big Wheel™ ?
198.23.5.11 over 2 years ago
Famous story about Joseph Grimaldi,which you ran yourself many years ago.
A man walks into a doctor’s office and announces that he is terminally depressed by life and that he was considering suicide,
The doctor says—“The answer to your problem is simple.Go to teh circus tonight and see Grimaldi,The Clown.grimaldi is the funniest man alive.He will make you laugh and forget your troubles”
And the patient says—-“Doctor,I am Grimaldi”.