Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for April 28, 2022

Hello, all! I was unavoidably shanghaied last night, but tonight I return Triumphant. (Hark – are those french horns?) Beware of gifts bearing Greeks, but Irishmen bearing jokes, not so much. Anyhow, I’m still in Military Mode…

An all-female song-and-dance group was entertaining soldiers overseas. After their performance, it was dinnertime. The tour director asked, “So, Ladies, do you want to mess with the officers or the enlisted men?”

The performers looked at one another. Then one of them, shrugging her shoulders, said “We really don’t care, as long as we get something to eat first.”

Silver, lend me your snare drum, would you? Then I’m OUT! (But maybe sneaking out this time…)

50 pound taro root? That’ll make a lot of poi.

YouTube has examples of both spiders and praying mantises preying on hummingbirds.

The wildest thing about the Percy puppet is that the actual porcupine looks just like it (aside from the size).

A taro weighing in at roughly 3½ stone (22.7 kilograms) is going to make quite a lot of poi: a Hawaiian staple food made from that tropical tuber into a goo.

Well, a brief search says this noble spider still has a painful bite, so I don’t think I’ll be nominating them for sainthood any time soon.

It kind of looks like Spiney Norman.

I went to Hawaii with my dad to get a taste of their traditional culture. They set out two bowls of their famous delicacy. When I couldn’t choose which one to grab, my dad said,“Pick your poi, son”

Just a pun, but it’s on topic.

Until next time.

How many of those sandyeggos have a world-famous zoo?

The Chicago Cubs have also begun praying over their bats.

Take care, may ignored shouting corner preacher Reverend Otis “I Have To Skip Mathew 7 Verses 1, 2, And 3 Or I’ll Have To Shut Up” Hippocritord be with you, and gesundheit.

Me and my wife would be torn about having that creature in our attic. She hates spiders and I hate bats. I want an attic full of them now.

I’d be more impressed if I knew what a taro root is.

Ben Waddams – not the Good HouseKeeping award winner of the year.

i once had a porcupine puppet that was 3 stories tall and had 4000 quills and weighed 3 tons….looking for it now…don’t remember where i put it….

Well at least Ben can say that he has no more bats in his belfry.

Noble spiders are in the same family as Baron, Count and Duke spiders

Everything was fine at the zoo until someone opened the Necronomicon and every replica animal came to life… Percy wasn’t so fun to be around any more.

I’ll practice catching bats today, Ben Waddams tomorrow.

May Lord Kitchener be with you.

Aldwyn Roberts HBM DA (18 April 1922 – 11 February 2000), better known by the stage name Lord Kitchener (or “Kitch”), was an internationally known Trinidadian calypsonian.

Wait, I just looked it up, and noble false widows are about a centimeter long. How are they wrapping up bats?