It’s 3 a.m. CST. Do you know where Steve and the rest of our Merry Band of Pranksters are? After the day I finally just finished, I could use some humor to ease my nerves and lift my spirits!
One day a man was enjoying a pint at a pub located near Buckingham Palace. While he sat there, he couldn’t help but notice another man drinking pint after pint with a gloomy face. Being a nice fellow, he decided to chat with the gentleman, and had the barkeep buy him a pint, as he sat next to him.
“Say, Old Chap, why are you so down?”
“My eef’ing life sucks!”
“It can’t be that bad. What is it you do for a living?”
“I am the keeper of Her Majesties Corgis”
“You don’t say? That must be fascinating work!”
“No it’s horrible. Imagine having to deal with multiple generations of inbreeding. Those eef’ers run around like crazy and are constantly barking and yapping. Hell, last week, one of them buggers bit me on the hand!”
“Oh.. I could imagine this makes the Corgis hard to deal with.”
Not the first or the last Jessica to escape drunk rich people in that manner I’m sure.
Take care, may homeless but eternally hopeful panhandler Susan “That Yacht Costs More Than A College Education For Dozens Of My Tented Neighbors” Couragord be with you, and gesundheit.
I sometimes am late reporting in, so this isn’t unusual for me. But Steve and eromlig? Curious and curiouser.
An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?
“Of course child. What may I do for you?”
“Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?”
“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.”
“With your honest face, Father, no one will question you,” she replied. When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”
“From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.”
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?”
Father replied, “I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused.”
Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. Next please!”
I wonder if Stewart and Bardot are as sensitive to light as I am. I thought it was because I worked shift work mostly at night and that made me sensitive to light. My eye doctor said all blue eyed people are sensitive to light.
Here’s the link to Jessica’s story. She fell off a boat into part of the Indian River used for the Intracoastal Waterway, and drifted downstream with the current.
charliefarmrhere about 2 years ago
SPOOKY! This late & no comments before mine!
mbakerbr549 about 2 years ago
It’s 3 a.m. CST. Do you know where Steve and the rest of our Merry Band of Pranksters are? After the day I finally just finished, I could use some humor to ease my nerves and lift my spirits!
Caldonia about 2 years ago
Stewart and Bardot are known to stare into your soul with their chilling eyes. Believe it or Not.
therese_callahan2002 about 2 years ago
The Coolidge Corner Theater here in Brookline has four auditoriums. The smallest one only has seats for fourteen people.
Pykiff about 2 years ago
Not even Jason?
JDP_Huntington Beach about 2 years ago
CORGIS
One day a man was enjoying a pint at a pub located near Buckingham Palace. While he sat there, he couldn’t help but notice another man drinking pint after pint with a gloomy face. Being a nice fellow, he decided to chat with the gentleman, and had the barkeep buy him a pint, as he sat next to him.
“Say, Old Chap, why are you so down?”
“My eef’ing life sucks!”
“It can’t be that bad. What is it you do for a living?”
“I am the keeper of Her Majesties Corgis”
“You don’t say? That must be fascinating work!”
“No it’s horrible. Imagine having to deal with multiple generations of inbreeding. Those eef’ers run around like crazy and are constantly barking and yapping. Hell, last week, one of them buggers bit me on the hand!”
“Oh.. I could imagine this makes the Corgis hard to deal with.”
“I wasn’t talking about the dogs.”
Huckleberry Hiroshima about 2 years ago
Not the first or the last Jessica to escape drunk rich people in that manner I’m sure.
Take care, may homeless but eternally hopeful panhandler Susan “That Yacht Costs More Than A College Education For Dozens Of My Tented Neighbors” Couragord be with you, and gesundheit.
FrankErnesto about 2 years ago
The poor dog swam in the wrong direction. The shore was only 250 feet in the other. Meanwhile, people on the yacht watched, cheering him on.
Charlie Fogwhistle about 2 years ago
I sometimes am late reporting in, so this isn’t unusual for me. But Steve and eromlig? Curious and curiouser.
An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?
“Of course child. What may I do for you?”
“Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?”
“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.”
“With your honest face, Father, no one will question you,” she replied. When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”
“From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.”
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?”
Father replied, “I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused.”
Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. Next please!”
Until next time.
WCraft Premium Member about 2 years ago
And the micro-theater charges $50 for a popcorn and soda to make up for lost revenue due to lack of seating.
Templo S.U.D. about 2 years ago
Triskaidekaphobics better avoid thad that theatre.
paranormal about 2 years ago
I wonder if Stewart and Bardot are as sensitive to light as I am. I thought it was because I worked shift work mostly at night and that made me sensitive to light. My eye doctor said all blue eyed people are sensitive to light.
paranormal about 2 years ago
Just how wide is Florida’s Snake River for Jessica to swim seven miles to shore???
stamps about 2 years ago
The Indian River is NOT 7 miles wide.
Charlie Fogwhistle about 2 years ago
Here’s the link to Jessica’s story. She fell off a boat into part of the Indian River used for the Intracoastal Waterway, and drifted downstream with the current.
https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/corgi-re-united-with-owner-after-falling-overboard-in-intercoastal-waterway
Phil721 about 2 years ago
The Indian river is not a river but a lagoon. 5 miles wide at its widest the dog must have taken the scenic route
jasonsnakelover about 2 years ago
One time I was 33 years old. One time I was 31 years old.
One time I saw 14 movie goers.
One time I was two years old. One time I was eight miles big.
May the Lord be with you.