Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for November 01, 2022

Let Mom open it. She is immune to girl stuff.

“This message will self destruct in 3…2…1.”

What if the post office worker who screened it was a girl, Calvin, then what?

Might be a fan letter from Phoebe, since her comic took a lot of influence from yours.

Time to pull out the magic decoder ring

“GAAAAA” , indeed – Calvin.

i still say it is from Danae over in Non Sequitur… she has that skull on her dress.

Isn’t it illegal to send girl germs (cooties, to Americans) through the post?

Do a DNA test on the back of the stamp

Still say it’s Susie, the flirt!

Gloves? No get the hazmat suit.

OMG… Susie sent him an invite to her Birthday Party??

There has to be a scientific study on girl cooties. While highly transmissible, they are rarely ever fatal.

Like some other childhood diseases, it’s better to get them as a boy than getting them after puberty sets in. After puberty, it combines with the testosterone in a boy’s system to mess with his brain, producing a zombie-like state manifested by things such as being tongue-tied and doing stupid things in the presence of the girl.

Also, boys have a natural immunity to some girl cooties. For example, you can not get girl cooties from your sister or first cousin or any woman older than 18.

I am sure that further research will yield more interesting results.

Maybe there’s a black widow spider in that envelope waiting to jump out and bite him (idea taken from an episode of THE GOLDEN GIRLS).

In a few years Calvin’s attitude will change…..LOL

Maybe it’s a Tiger Gag?

And this was before people started mailing white powdery substances.

Well, even if it is an icky old girl, at least it’s Halloween and not Valentines. Plus, you gotta admit, it is scary. Right?

Love Hobbes’ expression in the 3rd panel.

Certainly not well enough, Calvin.

X-ray scan for girl cooties.

Talk about denial…he’s gotta know it’s Suzie.

Cooties:

https://i.etsystatic.com/20243474/r/il/67478f/3939300307/il_fullxfull.3939300307_gx1o.jpg

From the Cootie Planet?:

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61lkxQTpGUL._AC_SL1024_.jpg

Little known fact: the USPS has been photographing the exterior of all mail, both envelopes and packages, since 2013. However, this is not a real-time process and the images are only reviewed in criminal matters. So, don’t expect the system to reject S.W.A.K. and smiley hearts. :)

Someday he’ll most likely like girls, cooties or not. What are cooties, anyway.

Cooties or boogers?

Yeah!

Of course Hobbes defaults to girls.

If it were a girl, it’d probably have to be a goth girl of some kind to leave such a skull drawing as a return address.