Bound and Gagged by Dana Summers for October 13, 2022

Shop keeper

Sorry, we don’t prosecute those anymore unless it’s over $950 in merchandise. However, he’ll probably sue you for illegal detention (or something silly like that). I guess you’ll just have to close your store in this neighborhood. Too bad for the normal people who will now have to travel 20 miles to find a store that’s still open.

When I worked at Wal*Mart I was always finding empty packaging.

You can cart him off now.

Three more and you get a free pair of handcuffs.

By the time the officer arrived, the man was a basket case.

Cart Man? Is that you?

The preferd method…………https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v63Nz4NaJ64

Now apologize and let him go…..

I caught a shop lifter once. I made him put it back down.

Is that a Costco cart?

Should have stuffed & locked him in the freezer overnight. Whoops, forgot to call you officer.

It’s not shoplifting until you leave the store.

there’s been a surge of reporting about older shoplifters recently, mainly because news organizations have finally got wind of something that’s been going on for ages. the excuses the thieves provide are always entertaining. “i was hungry.” “i didn’t have any cash with me.” oh, okay, then it’s all right…

just the other day there was a story about a guy who tried to shoplift a guitar from a second-hand shop and bolted, with the guitar in hand, when an employee alertly spotted him trying to walk out the door with the guitar in hand. he chucked the guitar after running down the street a ways and explained to the cops that he’d been planning to resell it…

A philosophical question: is it shoplifting if you take it out of someone else’s cart, put it in yours, and still buy the item?

As prices continue to rise faster than wages there will be more of that. Those stores with self checkout who thought they could save labor costs will have to position more employees and security people around them and sooner or later it will be cheaper to go back to a full staff of checkers. Meanwhile I’ll just continue to pay myself with a steak or two. If they want me to work then I should get some payment, either a discount or cash.