Half Full by Maria Scrivan for October 04, 2022

Shedding orange fur on black clothes

Puking on the carpet.

Sleep.

Fact: cats only scratch furniture that is sat on by the"owners" (cats think they own us). Cats have scent glands between their toes, so they are warning others not to take what is theirs. I love my cats. The furniture is fine.

Unrolling and shredding toilet paper

Wake-up anyone who dares to sleep in….pounce on the bed, thump me on the nose…

Zoomies at 0’dark thirty.

Wanna see my hairball collection?

I can cook up my own fancy feast.

I like to leave dead rodents in my owners slippers, chase the red dot and sleep on things I’m not supposed to.

Oh let’s see: knock hings on the floor; race around the bedroom in the middle of the night; hide when it’s time to go to the vet.

I like kneading on anything fluffy (Monroe interjects with liking to knead everything), stealing Meowmie’s food, playing with straws, and stomping on the hoomans. So says my three cats – Honor, Achilles, and Monroe, (and the ghost of Nimitz – I swear he’s haunting us).