Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for November 02, 2022

With just WofF alone, Pat and Vanna once swapped places in 1996 because Pat had laryngitis.

A placebo can still work even if you know it’s a placebo, if you’re aware of the placebo effect. If I just hand you a sugar pill and say “have some candy”, it won’t help anything (or at least, anything candy wouldn’t already help).

Placeboitis and cause a trombone, or so I heard.

I prefer real cans.

Like a placebo, the jokes here still work even if you know they’re not funny cause you read them before.

That’s odd about a placebo working, even when you KNOW it’s a placebo, because the general idea behind placebos is that it only works because you THINK it can.

I would certainly hope so. All three of my aunts helped each other out all the time and. .. oh, you mean the insects. Never mind. ~ Emily Litella

Take care, may aspiring physician 7 year-old Corky “M&Ms Work Too And Let’s Not Even Talk About My Secret Weapon For The Worst Of Them Pez” Frecklord be with you, and gesundheit.

This joke has been waiting for ants to be a topic.

A guy goes to a psychiatrist to see about his strange dreaming.

“Doctor, I’m dreaming every night about a soccer tournament for ants. It’s on every night. They went though a group stage, a knockout phase and its the only thing I’m dreaming about the last week. It’s driving me nuts.”

So the doctor says: “well, that’s easy, just take this medicine before going to bed tonight and the dreams will be gone”.

To which the guy replies: “no, no, no doctor, not tonight. It’s the FINALS”.

If you watch Jeopardy backwards, it’s about rich people paying money for answers to questions.

That is all.

The punchline comes first.

Why are Jeopardy jokes terrible?

Not all pills are placebos.

A kid sees his/her grandma taking pills and asks:

“Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?”

“Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for the diarrhea but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her a high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very “affectionate”. That’s why grandpa has to take the blue pills."

If you insist, here’s one about not just any pill, but a placebo.

My doctor is concerned my hypochondria is getting worse.

So he put me on stronger placebos.

Tri-fecta! Hooray!

placebos rule!!

Wow! Sajak! Trebek! Trading shows! Boom! Epic!

/s

Dear Son, I’m writing this slow cause I know you can’t read fast.

We don’t live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved.

Won’t be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn’t have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven’t seen ’em since.

The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn’t get the tailgate down.

Nothing much happened. If you don’t get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

Love, Mom

I remember watching those episodes. It was fun.

“Ah, my leg!”

Last night, after I thought all of the trick-or-treaters were gone, a boy about 12 years old came to my house. He was dressed in all red. Instead of saying “trick or treat“ he said, “I am your period, sorry I’m late.” He got the rest of my candy, and he restored all of my faith in his generation.

Hey y’all, Got another tale from the Bayou State.

Ole’ Boudreaux came in drunk late one night.

Knowing Clotile was mad already he didn’t try to be quiet.

He slammed the door, stomped into the bedroom, kicked off his boots, and threw his clothes all over the floor.

Clotile she never made a sound, just laid there.Boudreaux he jumps in the bed rolls around till he gets comfortable,and let’s out a load fa rt.

Cotile sits up and ask, " Now what was dat?"

Boudreaux says, " I’m playing football, The score is 7 nuttin!"

Clotile can’t let him get away with that, so she lets one out herself. She looks at Boudreaux and says, " Scores tied 7 all."

This went on till the score was tied at 21 all.

Boudreaux felt a good one coming and let loose.

Well he messed his side of the bed.

Clotile heard the difference and ask," Now what was dat?"

Boudreaux said, “Dats da half time buzzer, now we switch sides.”

Now, that was awful. (suppressing a grin, here)

Gotta love us here in da Bayou State

Having a placebo leader several years ago didn’t work.