I try to alternate between true stories and the ones where you have to suspend your disbelief. However, some may have trouble suspending their disbelief over this true tale:
Several years ago, The University of MO, in Columbia, put a lot of effort into refurbishing the old brick buildings on the Red Campus which surrounds the quad. One of the buildings had been restored and in the entryway the University had attached to the wall a bronze plaque with a bit of the building’s history and the names of the Board members who were serving when the construction was completed.
Activists complained that the sight impaired had been ignored when the plaque was placed, so the University had a copy made with all the information translated into Braille and attached it to the opposite wall of the entry.
Later activists complained that “People are touching the new plaque and it is getting ‘dirty’.” So the University, repository of the world’s wisdom, placed a clear Lucite sheet over the Braille plaque.
This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve passed gas at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent.”
The doctor says “I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week.”
The next week the lady goes back. “Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what you gave me, but now my passing gas… although still silent, it stinks terribly.”
“Good”, the doctor said, “now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing.”
But what’s wrong with the injured deciding to pray. I’m sick and tired of anti-prayer people making a fuss about…. oh, you mean prey not pray. Never mind. ~ Emily Litella
Take care, may ungrounded EV auto advocate Daniel “Sparky” McYipeord be with you, and gesundheit.
Our former pet, a Yellow Lab, liked masticating on empty water bottles (we tried them in a toy but discovered it wasn’t needed). Apparently, it mimics the sound of bones being crunched.
Nothing surprising about the inclusion of “Shrek.” I didn’t care for it myself, but I couldn’t deny that it was influencing a lot of other movies, including some from its target of mockery, Disney.
Animals probably sense the DANGERS of the radiation given off by power lines. Scientists USED to know a lot about the dangers of electricity since at least the last 1700’s, but for various reasons, nearly all the scientific research done has been ignored starting in the early 20th Century, when more and more cities became dependent on electrification. I was NEVER taught about the dangers of electricity in my electrical engineering classes, apart from making direct contact with very high voltages/currents. More people need to read the history of electricity, found in books such as this: https://www.amazon.com/Invisible-Rainbow-History-Electricity-Life/dp/1645020096
While readin’ an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came floodin’ back to the time I took me son out for his first pint. Off we went to our local pub, only two blocks from the cottage. I got him a Guinness. He didn’t like it, so I drank it. Then I got him a Kilkenny. He didn’t like that either, so I drank it. Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager. He didn’t.So I drank it.I thought maybe he’d like whisky better than beer, so we tried a Jameson’s; nope! So I drank his and mine.In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast, Ireland ‘s finest whisky.He wouldn’t even smell it.What could I do but drink it and mine?!Well, by the time I realized he just didn’t like to drink, I was so drunk I could hardly push his stroller back home!!!
One more …. A secret agent parachutes into the Irish countryside near a small village to make contact with a spy in that village. All he knew about the spy was his name, O’Brien, and the code phrase “The crows fly at midnight.” After disposing of his parachute, he stealthily enters the town. Seeing an establishment called Mick’s Pub, he decides his first stop should be orientation and refreshment, not necessarily in that order. So he goes in and orders a beer. As he sits down, a constable who happened to be in the pub says, “Hello, stranger. May I help you in any way?”The agent figures, why not? So he says, “Yes, Constable. I’m looking for a man named O’Brien.”“Well,” the constable starts, “There are several O’Brien in this town. See those two drunk twins at the bar? Their names are O’Brien. That beat-up man in the corner? He’s an O’Brien, as well. There’s a shopkeeper O’Brien, a farrier O’Brien…in fact, me own name is O’Brien!”“It is?”“Sure’n truth, it is.”What do I have to lose? the agent thinks to himself. So he clears his throat, and says to the constable, “The crows fly at midnight.”The constable breaks into a knowing grin. “Oh, ‘tis O’Brien the spy you’d be wantin’!”Birdman out…
eromlig over 1 year ago
I try to alternate between true stories and the ones where you have to suspend your disbelief. However, some may have trouble suspending their disbelief over this true tale:
Several years ago, The University of MO, in Columbia, put a lot of effort into refurbishing the old brick buildings on the Red Campus which surrounds the quad. One of the buildings had been restored and in the entryway the University had attached to the wall a bronze plaque with a bit of the building’s history and the names of the Board members who were serving when the construction was completed.
Activists complained that the sight impaired had been ignored when the plaque was placed, so the University had a copy made with all the information translated into Braille and attached it to the opposite wall of the entry.
Later activists complained that “People are touching the new plaque and it is getting ‘dirty’.” So the University, repository of the world’s wisdom, placed a clear Lucite sheet over the Braille plaque.
jasonsnakelover over 1 year ago
Birds are not one of those animals, and squirrels don’t seem to take notice of the the flashes of ultraviolet light either.
May the Lord be with you as He is with me.
jmolay161 over 1 year ago
Woof, woof, wolf!
A Common 'tator over 1 year ago
Stand under an electric pylon, and within minutes you’ll start to feel nauseous…
Templo S.U.D. over 1 year ago
Squeak toys sound like prey… uh, yeah.
charliefarmrhere over 1 year ago
An oldie I think.
This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve passed gas at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent.”
The doctor says “I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week.”
The next week the lady goes back. “Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what you gave me, but now my passing gas… although still silent, it stinks terribly.”
“Good”, the doctor said, “now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing.”
Kidon Ha-Shomer over 1 year ago
Catenary towers also hum at an annoying frequency, at least those around here do.
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 1 year ago
But what’s wrong with the injured deciding to pray. I’m sick and tired of anti-prayer people making a fuss about…. oh, you mean prey not pray. Never mind. ~ Emily Litella
Take care, may ungrounded EV auto advocate Daniel “Sparky” McYipeord be with you, and gesundheit.
WCraft Premium Member over 1 year ago
Our former pet, a Yellow Lab, liked masticating on empty water bottles (we tried them in a toy but discovered it wasn’t needed). Apparently, it mimics the sound of bones being crunched.
ekke over 1 year ago
NICE touch with the squeaky toy being Shrek. Segue points!
PaulAbbott2 over 1 year ago
Shrek goes from being honored by the Library of Congress to being a chew toy in one strip.
paranormal over 1 year ago
I’ve never seen power lines glow…
paranormal over 1 year ago
I’ve never seen power lines glow…
stamps over 1 year ago
I’m OK with Shrek being in the NFR. Jar-Jar Binks – not so much.
weh99 over 1 year ago
Good grief!
Stephen Gilberg over 1 year ago
Nothing surprising about the inclusion of “Shrek.” I didn’t care for it myself, but I couldn’t deny that it was influencing a lot of other movies, including some from its target of mockery, Disney.
SKYSWIM over 1 year ago
Animals probably sense the DANGERS of the radiation given off by power lines. Scientists USED to know a lot about the dangers of electricity since at least the last 1700’s, but for various reasons, nearly all the scientific research done has been ignored starting in the early 20th Century, when more and more cities became dependent on electrification. I was NEVER taught about the dangers of electricity in my electrical engineering classes, apart from making direct contact with very high voltages/currents. More people need to read the history of electricity, found in books such as this: https://www.amazon.com/Invisible-Rainbow-History-Electricity-Life/dp/1645020096
Birdman47 over 1 year ago
While readin’ an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came floodin’ back to the time I took me son out for his first pint. Off we went to our local pub, only two blocks from the cottage. I got him a Guinness. He didn’t like it, so I drank it. Then I got him a Kilkenny. He didn’t like that either, so I drank it. Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager. He didn’t.So I drank it.I thought maybe he’d like whisky better than beer, so we tried a Jameson’s; nope! So I drank his and mine.In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast, Ireland ‘s finest whisky.He wouldn’t even smell it.What could I do but drink it and mine?!Well, by the time I realized he just didn’t like to drink, I was so drunk I could hardly push his stroller back home!!!
Birdman47 over 1 year ago
One more …. A secret agent parachutes into the Irish countryside near a small village to make contact with a spy in that village. All he knew about the spy was his name, O’Brien, and the code phrase “The crows fly at midnight.” After disposing of his parachute, he stealthily enters the town. Seeing an establishment called Mick’s Pub, he decides his first stop should be orientation and refreshment, not necessarily in that order. So he goes in and orders a beer. As he sits down, a constable who happened to be in the pub says, “Hello, stranger. May I help you in any way?”The agent figures, why not? So he says, “Yes, Constable. I’m looking for a man named O’Brien.”“Well,” the constable starts, “There are several O’Brien in this town. See those two drunk twins at the bar? Their names are O’Brien. That beat-up man in the corner? He’s an O’Brien, as well. There’s a shopkeeper O’Brien, a farrier O’Brien…in fact, me own name is O’Brien!”“It is?”“Sure’n truth, it is.”What do I have to lose? the agent thinks to himself. So he clears his throat, and says to the constable, “The crows fly at midnight.”The constable breaks into a knowing grin. “Oh, ‘tis O’Brien the spy you’d be wantin’!”Birdman out…