Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for February 22, 2023

Oopspee Doopspee.

If you’re in a hardware store like Menards or Lowes, they have a lot of toilets on display in the plumbing department. Use one of those.

Puckered at both ends.

I remember one store’s sign said “This bathroom is being cleaned for you. Please use the other bathroom on such and such floor.” Please explain how this bathroom is being cleaned for me when you expect me to use a different one?

A sign like that one is designed to keep bathrooms clean longer.

Had he left a “Wet Floor” sign he would be cleaning the hall now.

Many years ago, my husband and I were traveling I-80 back to California after visiting our folks and announcing that I was pregnant. We got to Wyoming and I really to go. We got to an off ramp that had several gas stations and pulled into one. Bathroom door had an out-of-service sign on the door. We tried another. Same problem. We went back on the road to the next off ramp and I rushed up to the door only to find the same sign. As I waddled back to the car a state trooper motioned me over and told me that the door was unlocked and the sign was there to keep people from using the facilities without buying something. Easier than having to hand out a key.

Just open the stupid door

Hope everything comes out ok……

I spent several years in janitorial at a very large performing arts center. The stories I could tell of patrons and the use of said restrooms.

You don’t keep an empty Mountain Dew bottle handy? Oops, TMI.

Hey. If I gotta go and the door isn’t locked, I don’t care what the sign says.

I’ve gone in anyhow, if ya gotta go ya gotta go…

i think there’s a justifiable homicide defense here

At a local bakery, I had to ask for my money back before they would unlock the toilet, which the staff had cleaned 45 minutes before closing and locked for the day. I contacted the owner – new staff!

Janitorial malfeasance results in an incontinent experience.

I worked in a high rise bldg in San Francisco finance district and luckily my office had multiple floors so that I could take the stairs to a bathroom on another floor (thank goodness didn’t have to wait for an elevator).

If he has to choose between number two and number one, he should choose the bladder.