Rubes by Leigh Rubin for February 23, 2023

And hopefully a roommate that won’t try to eat me.

Early to rise and early to bed

Makes a WORM healthy, wealthy… but dead!

That’s why I married my wife. I am always in bed before her and up and hour before her.

well he wormed his way out of that one

He doesn’t want to get caught.

Nor always hungry for earth burrowing creatures

Why does the worm like coffee? Because it was ground this morning… (I’ll show myself out now)

Which means his roommate will be a bird who just doesn’t get him.

Pecky, pecky, pecky!

Okay, but you’re the one who’s going to get stuck with the breakfast tab. As a matter of fact…

Trying to worm out are you…

And he doesn’t want someone who’s up all night, so nightcrawlers are out.

But I so get you!