Drabble by Kevin Fagan for March 22, 2023

I rarely get a doctor now. All nurse practitioners on Zoom. Rarely any tests because “you have aged out of that test”. Or “don’t worry about that pain, spot, swelling etc because something else will kill you before this is an issue.” At least with a Zoom appointment they can’t do a digital rectal exam. Wait, I’ve aged out of that one too.

A physician’s assistant decided my husband’s melanoma on his nose was an age spot and gave him something to put on it. Never told him if it didn’t work within a certain amount of time to come back. That “age spot” killed him. PA fired.

Better known as carpal tunnel.

The last time I went to a clinic they sent me a link to do the forms on my phone…

Don’t forget to check the correct pronoun boxes.

Might have the doctor check that paper cut.

I can sympathize with Ralph. You fill in a thousand forms, only for the doctor to say “Take an pain pill and call me later…MUCH later…after my golf trip.”

You would never ask a stranger why they are at the doctor. Way too nosy.

Is it my imagination of does the nurse in the window have a resemblance to Lucy and her “Psychiatric Help 5c” stand?

They give patients nerve block to numb pain, maybe they’ll give Ralph writer’s block.

If it’s not one thing, it’s another.