Dark Side of the Horse by Samson for March 20, 2023

“The Cure for Insomnia” by Horace H. Horse.

Looks like that career as a motivational speaker won’t work out

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not like his screaming passengers.

That boring, huh?

Well, Horace, you never finished that public speaking course so it’s all in you! Neigh-ver quit in the middle of a class!

Horace was on Zoom….?

Snorace.

Metropolitan Kallistos (né Timothy Ware), of blessed memory, said when he was giving a speech long ago, he became very drowsy and gradually noticed a voice droning on and on. He finally realized that it was his voice, and he was effectively talking in his sleep.

He also told of another young student who was so nervous he dashed through a 20-30 minute sermon in about ten minutes. He was so flustered that he rushed from the lectern to seek escape through the nearest door—into a closet. As I recall, he refused to come out and probably became a Trappist. Metropolitan Kallistos said that ever since then, whenever he gives a lecture or sermon, he always acquaints himself with the the real exits just in case.

I was in a Physics lecture one fine Spring day. Looked around and found everyone, including the Prof, nodding off. I laughed. …lots of people thence doing their best to look like they weren’t sleeping.

Our church had a Variety Show, and at one point the male chorus was on stage for a number. One of the older guys was seated, and was napping when the others left the stage. I thought it was a gag, but half way through the next number he woke up, and snuck off the stage.

He kept repeating his own thoughts and fell asleep?

Oh, that’s a good one!