Kliban by B. Kliban for April 05, 2023

Meet MSgt. Louise Gumpfrey, Heaven’s Quartermaster Corps, Queen of No Take-Backs.

The Pre-Born line up for their earthly souls. Quality human souls are scarce because of disruptions in the supply chain, so cheap Alien knock-offs are substituted.

“Well hello, Mrs. Souls, I dropped by to pick up a reason.”

I love those wide-legged pants. Tres chic.

Oh, you want the Everlasting one? That’s a different line.

This is a lot like a two-page spread in an underground comic by Will Hatcher, showing how difficult it really is to sell your soul to the devil, in a roomful of snooty, officious clerks. One guy asks about buying his back and the clerk sniffs “Sorry, old man – you did read the contract?”

Bill Medley and Bobby Hatfield were looking for the blue-eyed variety.

Hurdy Gurdy Soul.

Don’t tell me they’re selling their souls for doohickeys of dubious value.

“I’d like to speak to Don Cornelius, please.”