The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for May 09, 2023

I’m waiting mine to ripen, and then sliced with a drizzle of Ranch Dressing!!

holy guacamole, that is the pits…the BIG pits

It’s not all bad news, you can donate parts of your body to guacamole.

Does that make him an Avoca-Doc?

Once or twice a year my wife has me buy three or four of these. Then a few months later I throw out two or three. There is a funny thing about them. The french word for one is the same as their word for lawyer.

I’m not as young as I used to be.

She’s toast.

One of the most ambitious albeit perhaps misguided projects in recent Science has been the effort to develop an ambulatory avocado. Gene slicing with bits of a commonly cultivated avocado plant, the New Zealand kiwi bird, and the African pangolin have resulted in an interesting Chimera that holds promise in this regard.

This plant / animal GMO / organic AI construct sounds ridiculous at first. But picture herds of the delicious fruit-creatures nurtured initially on trees, soon to drop off and merrily march to centers for distribution to grocery stores everywhere.

Dr. Heinrich Krackpott took the basic concept from Al Capp, who first introduced “Shmoos” [which see] as a comic fantasy concept in 1948. The Doctor claims that his creation tastes like a combination of chicken and pork, in addition to having the distinctive avocado flavor.

Unlike Capp’s shmoos, however, ambulatory avocados seem not to bode ill for established economic concerns. Dr. Krackpott is almost positive of that, and will closely guard his unique GMO techniques lest they escape his laboratory.

I know what P.hd means, gimme my gold star!

There’s hope. Saran wrap therapy may extend your life.

I’m still concerned about that mole, Mrs. Guac.

“Spoiler Alert”!

It’s time to have the Guac Talk.

After being poked and prodded with needles, he’ll make a great Holey Guacamole.

LOL they’re both exactly the same color, so…

Nothings worse than a brown and mushy Ava Koddo!

That’s why I don’t care for avocados.

Here’s a “long” joke from Monty Python: Two men in a life boat, lost track of how many days.

“Oh, how long is it?”

“Well that’s a rather personal question!!”

The pits are almost perfect spheres – I wonder if anyone’s played Pit ball?

They’re ALWAYS either not ripe enough or too ripe to eat so I skip them all.

It’s taco Tuesday. As the Klingons say: It is a good day to die.

better than green and slimy

He’ll be interred in a turkey club.

Forget Avraham. Get a second opinion from his father Avner.