Frazz by Jef Mallett for June 05, 2023

“It’s not all about me” is a really tough one to learn.

Commonality runs in family genes?

“As we age, we become our parents; live long enough and we see faces repeat in time” – Neil Gaiman

Not really.

When you find yourself with the snoozing men in the living room after a family feast, you’ve arrived.

Frazz’s comment nailed this one.

One year my tenth grade students spent time giving me the ‘dozens’ about my age, weight, hair loss, etc. We traded laughs, then I closed with this promise.

One day soon, look at the face of the oldest relative that everyone says you look like. I promise that one morning 40 years from now, you will look into your mirror, and see that person. Then, look over your shoulder and you will see me . . . laughing.

That was about 1985 and this morning, when they looked in the mirror, they found that person staring back at them. I am still laughing.

I disagree. We are more than our genetics. As we age, I think we can recognize the traits better but also how they have played out differently in each individual depending on life experiences. For example, I have a genetic condition that I don’t use to get sympathy like my sister does. She lets it define her. Same genes, different choices.

When blood sees blood of its own

It sings to see itself again

It sings to hear the voice it’s known

It sings to recognize the face

One body split and passed along the line

From the shoulder to the hip

I know these bones as being mine

And the curving of the lip

Suzanne Vega, “Blood Sings”

Thankfully, I’m adopted.

Denial and failure to identify are two different things.

Works in the other direction, too. You may look quite a lot like your little sister right now, kid, but give it about a decade.

As I understand it is from our grandparents, we get much of our visible traits.