Rubes by Leigh Rubin for August 09, 2023

And a posthumous Darwin Award for you

One good reason behind you.

You might have lived longer.

Planting crops doesn’t make the predators go away.

There’s a reasonable sounding argument that beer caused civilization. So: Everybody’s hunting and gathering and the trek, not to mention some geezer’s knees are getting kinda old. So he decides to stop with the walking and hang out at one spot. Which spot will he pick? Well where he can have beer of course! So he settles down near a spot where the grain (or the starchy roots or whatever) are thick and pretty easy to get. And pretty soon, somebody else decides to stop where ol’ geezer has things already organized. And after a bit there’s a whole little village and they have to invent a way to import and export because there’s just not enough hunting right where they are. And that’s business.

…

See?

Crouching cave woman, striking tiger, walking dead

How can he be a smarty-pants when pants haven’t been invented yet?

Maybe he can convince that smilodon to give up traditional hunting.

Kitty wants to play!

The problem will remain

The tiger’s going to get you.

Won’t have to worry about planting anything in a few seconds

His name is Al Dente. Because in a moment he’s going to be to the tooth.

Kitty wants treats!!!!!