F Minus by Tony Carrillo for September 20, 2023

Isn’t there an app to read those yet ?

It really happened…

To prove a point about how few people actually read the “terms and conditions” when making a purchase online, British game retailer GameStation decided to play an April fools joke on its customers, tricking many of them into agreeing to hand over the rights to their soul.

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Surely our corporate overlords would never even dream of betraying our trust!

Azoogur is the lawyer for a lot of those tech companies.

Huh? Mine has me pledging my soul to Ba’al.

I thought it was the god An-dar’oid…

And this is why—at the very least——I always scan through, and stop to read where needed those Terms and Conditions.

“There is no Dana, only Azoogur.”

Sounds like a Doctor Who plot.

That’s how they keep the backend systems working. Regular chicken sacrifices. Fortunately they are in the form of sandwiches.

Agreement under duress is invalid. Trying to use a product, for which they’ve already taken my money, is duress.

If it’s not disclaimer, it’s dat claimer.

“Adhesion” contracts. They stick to you.

The E.U.L.A., OR “End-user License Agreement” is even more nefarious than that, kids.

It is a legal agreement in which you agree that the application’s creator cannot be held liable for ANYTHING the installed application does to either you or the world, and it also usually indicates that, while you paid for it, you don’t actually “own” it, they’re just letting you “use” it for a while.

Basically, they’re telling you that you don’t “own” the candy bar, you’re just using it with their permission for a while and EVERYTHING that you do with it is still theirs, including the “poop” you produce…

Good thing I sold my soul to Nurgle an couple of years ago

I HATE Terms and Conditions, Mountains of eye glazing Lawyer Speak and the possibility of a Rumpelstiltskin Clause in there if you sign into the service without slogging through it. A most heinous trap.