Amanda the Great by Amanda El-Dweek for October 24, 2023

i can feel the heart attack from my seat

I think in fact she does.

ENTER SHELOB

snide works.

Hee hee hee!

I’ve been married over 30 years. My husband knows my SPIDER scream by now.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

She doesn’t need to be, Dan. But we like it when she is.

Let Ric take care of that.

You’re back! And there was great rejoicing! Hope all is well.

My wife does that to me when we’re driving. If she sees a taillight a mile up the road she starts flailing and stomping on the imaginary brake on the passenger floor.

It is important to have an emotional range , so when somebody dies, your spouse doesn’t go looking for spiders.

I have to say “sneeze” before I sneeze so as not to terrify my spouse.

The trick is to have different irrational fears than your spouse so you can look Brave, and with any luck your spouse won’t be afraid of the things you’re afraid of, like your own shadow.

But what if it’s a tiny spider with a chainsaw? What then?

Well that was awkward! LOL XOXO

The thing is you were more startled than scared. I’m afraid of my own shadow and I startle easily but spiders don’t scare me as much anymore.

Neither spiders nor snakes are at all terrifying. Or even startling. I mean, I live in a desert. Bugs, snakes and reptiles are everywhere. I have always liked all of these things, so absolutely no bother to me AT ALL. You can learn to live with them, really. There are approximately 7 deaths attributable to spider bites in the US EACH YEAR! SEVEN! I think that is like. 0.00000000000001% of the population. You are probably more likely to die in a plane crash or from getting struck by lightning.

I can handle spiders. It is the other s word that scares the beejeebers out of me. I can’t even type the word….

We have had amazing sweet cats, except one we inherited who was a biter. I tripped and felt a piercing pain in my leg as she bit me; I started screaming and she ran towards my face and arms and bit my arm. My spouse suggested that if I were to not scream, logically the cat would get less upset. Ooh, was I snide for a good while to Mr. Vulcan!

(But, um, the next time I was bit, I did somehow not scream and his advice, grumble grumble, worked. )

I’ve always thought that when I accept a new animal into my life it’s not much different than another human…We all have our learned terrors and come with past history of good and bad experiences. The trick is not to freak out when you accidentally learn about one of them the hard way.