Herman by Jim Unger for December 19, 2023

Sure, there is a gum ball machine by the door.

Salesman’s dream.

The husband, not normally by nature a violent man, with great difficulty resists the urge to punch the salesman in his smug face.

Maybe she could tolerate it.

I took my wife shopping and told her she could buy anything in the store. It was The Dollar Store, but still.

How about a $10 gift card?

If you used their restroom you have to buy something.

A friend of ours has a family owned store, which has been in the family for 4 generations now. He has some signs hanging in the store, stating “Your husband called and said to buy anything you want.” There’s another which reads, “Your wife called to remind you she wears a 4 carat diamond.”

She dragged him into the store against his will.

It works the other way around in the middle east. If you are the shopkeeper’s first customer of the day, it is bad luck for him if you leave without making a purchase. He’ll sell you a pair of socks for a penny if that’s what it takes.

Sounds a lot like my wife. We have boxes of guilt purchases that never see the light of day.

Fortunately, there is a gumball machine by the door.

You can’t buy something as they just ran out!

The store hates that too.