Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for January 30, 2024

The doctor must bill by the minute. Or the question.

“Is it deadlier than a breadbox?”

What you have is a big bill and a referral to a friend of mine who is a specialist.

He must be taking a stress test.

He has cold backsideitis.

This doc is just practicing, it seems.

“Doc, tell it to me strait. What’ve I got”?

“You’ve got 10 to live”.

“10 what??”?

Doc says, “9”.

Is this doctor a pain in the ____?

The dreaded clipboard!

Munchausen Syndrome?

Time to find a new doctor.

1. Is it something that I need to worry about?

if yes

2. Is it something that can be treated?

If no, no more questions.

Next round subject: How long do I have to live?

It’s like the aches and pains I see my doctor about, and we’re trying to find the cause. “It could be this.” No. “Or that.” No. “Or this other thing.” No. … The last question is always, “Could be old age.” …

Just give it to me straight Doc!

Funny! No fair, he didn’t bring his smartphone.

I like the old one..

Doctor: “well, you’ve got to expect your knee to hurt. After all, it’s 75 years old!”

Patient: “Then how come my other knee doesn’t hurt. It’s also 75 years old?”

OMG! Am I going to die or you just going to send me home with some ointment?

The patient’s insurance provider will do the same thing with the doctor when he files the procedural codes for coverage.