Close to Home by John McPherson for March 24, 2024

“You are hired…psych!”

She probably says that to all the applicants.

“You will give me a job, if you don’t want me to tell your husband about your boyfriend.”

True quote from the NEW YORK TIMES, sometime in the Eighties: When asked where next year’s psychics convention would be held, (she) replied, “We don’t know yet.”

sign on a psychics door " closed due to unforeseen circumstances"

… and if YOU were any good, you’d know that I’m not here looking for a job, but that I’m here to tell you I accidentally sideswiped your car in the parking lot!

Ah, Mr McP and Bleeb are on vacation. This strip is from 2015.

If you were any good, you’d have answered the door before I rang the doorbell.

Wow, she is wrong at every turn…..

Or perhaps she’s lying

I almost married a psychic but she broke up with me before we met.

Like Robin Williams said, “and now, a joke for all the physics in the audience……………….you know who you are”

If she were any good, she’d know she’s getting the job. It’s because she’s NO good that she doesn’t.

I went to see a psychic one time. I knocked on the door and she said, “who is it?” so I left.

And she spent all that money on that really cool outfit!

Pre-Bleep

“I’m sorry you’re so sad, but I’m trying to find a happy medium.”

But, wait, this new lady could pick the "Mark’s: pocket while his future is being told.

but I’m psychic- I have ESPN

Not this time – but you will eventually.

But I can fake it, just like you.

I actually heard a “job interview” for a massage position at a Renaissance Faire. The applicant failed after telling the interviewer he had a green aura. The interviewer told the applicant he had always been told his aura was gold.

It didn’t help when someone ran up to the applicant and shouted, “Hey, that guy whose shoulder you dislocated is going to be OK.”

(Absolutely true story.)