Brevity by Dan Thompson for June 30, 2024

Hope you’re in a true sanctuary, where you can just be relephant.

Tusk, tusk.

It’s put many of them out of a job.

The Dumbo Variations (with apologies to mr zappa)

You can try but you aren’t a little anything.

There’s been studies that show that dogs and horses want to be given jobs like guarding sheep and pulling buggies so they can feel relevant. They don’ t want to be put to pasture where they have nothing to do but eat and get fat. Cats, of course, have their own way. They want to prowl and hunt.

It’s the worst news they’ve ever herd.

Good. They should be in their homelands and left alone to graze and do all the other stuff they do.

I never heard of having elephants or elephant rides at Renaissance Fairs. I know I don’t get around much, but I thought I’d read enough about festivities during the actual Renaissance that I’d remember if elephants had been a characteristic feature. I guess Olivier de la Marche is supposed to have ridden one at the Feast of the Pheasant, though, so maybe it was more common than I thought.

This is what a group of elephants are called…. a “packaderms.”