The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for June 24, 2024

So you don’t have to talk to the old bat, Brutus! A good thing.

This is a good news: she makes you the treatment of silence.

But do you know her hearing aids aren’t working?

Insulting, isn’t she?

He can whisper anything he wants. ;-)

now they’ll get along just fine.

Insult to injury Brutus.

One man was telling his friend about his new hearing aids: “I can hear the phone ring in another room, I can hears birds chirp once again, I can even hear the wind blowing.” His friend replies, “That’s great, what kind is it?” The first guy looks at his watch and replies,,,“3.15”

I had a great uncle who’d turn his hearing aid off when the language at the dinner table turned unseemly. He and I were the only Baptists at the table. The rest were, well, something else.

So Mother Gargle is practicing selective hearing. Her loss. Our hero just wanted to know if she wanted a cup of hot chocolate.

She was having trouble with one of her hearing aids and discovered a suppository in her ear. Guess where the hearing aid is.

Might as well turn them off. He doesn’t have anything to say to her anyway.

time for a remote for those hearing aids so Brutus can turn them up when he needs to. ;)

Brutus, without actually making any noise, act as though you are talking to her. Get some money out of your wallet and act as though you might be giving it to her. She turns up her hearing aid. You still aren’t making any noise, but your lips are moving. She turns it up all the way, and you go:

“HOW ARE YOU, MOTHER GARGLE?”

(^  ⌣ʖ^)

So why is she still there? Did she move in?

That’s step one. The goal is to get her to Leave The Room when you walk in!

Now Brutus needs to find a way to turn Mother Argyle down

You better off that way…….

Too bad he can’t mute her.

Under the “this for that” category (GoComics told me the real phrase has a word on their banned list), Brutus should save up for a pair of those big noise cancelling headphones the athletes wear to wear around the house (maybe at the office too!). If there was ever noise worthy of cancelling it’s Mommy Dearest’s braying.

Now if there was only a way turn her down visually.

Is there no remote control for her?

Seems like an opportunity to smile sweetly and say silly things.

She’s faking it.