Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for July 23, 2024

What Do Cats And Dogs Do When It’s Raining Cats And Dogs?

My mom and I are discussing what to do in the event of a tornado. It should be noted that her dog and my cat, though not exactly antagonistic to each other, have a rocky relationship. [Dog] is a sixty-five-pound, bouncy galoot who wants to play with [Cat], while [Cat] — though only six years old — is already settling into his grumpy old man persona.

Mom: “If a tornado comes, you grab the cat, I grab the dog, and we go into my closet.”

Me: “Great. Then we can have a tornado inside the closet!”

Mom burst out laughing.

I have to be more patient. My body has slowed down.

If I were as thin as my patience I’d be very very skinny!

I’m still learning.

I can’t imagine an anorexic Aunty.

Then, she would be as thin as a snake … with a rattle.

That’s a fat chance Aunty.

Aunty, if you were as thin as your patience, you would be DEAD from malnutrition.

Time for the gym, Auntie A.

Be happy – your mouth is as fat as your brain and body.

Stand in the closet sideways and we cannot see you!!!!

Considering you have no patience, that’s not something you should hope for.