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Fowl Language by Brian Gordon for January 14, 2025
January 09, 2025
January 16, 2025
Transcript:
Weather reports in a perfect world
Snowy conditions persist, so we remind our viewers to stay off the roads if they suck at driving. For our viewers who know how to turn into a skid-knock yourself out. It's just snow.
When I was in college and we had a snow day, my friends and I took the car to a deserted parking lot and had fun. We also learned a lot about how to drive in the snow.
YES! This needs to be shared with horrible bosses who insist on their workers coming in when they are uncomfortable driving though. A lot of the issues are, in my opinion, because people are already nervous and not thinking clearly.
But stupidity plays a big part too. My last winter back home we had 6 ft of snow. State of Emergency declared, NJ, DE, and PA where all closed down (3 states for non-Americans) My horrible boss would not let us leave the store until 2pm when the state of emergency started, which was when we were supposed to be home, not starting for home. Grrr! Well, when I finally dug my tiny car out and got on my way, I passed so many big ole trucks stuck in the snowbanks!
Me and my tiny car with regular (and likely not new either) tires made it home without any issues, though I took to waving to all of the fancy-schmancy mega-trucks as I passed them by. Hope the tow truck drivers gave them nice lectures. ;) Or the army. In a state of emergency they patrol the roads for idiots, err, stuck drivers.
I lived in North Carolina for 1 year and that āwinterā they got a dusting of snow, which basically shut down the city. Everyone asked why I was out on the roads and my reply was āIām from Canadaā.
I live in southern Oklahoma and the worst drivers we see here are from up north, like Michigan or Wisconsin. They may know how to drive on snow and ice where they have snowplows. We donāt have those here, so you have to learn to drive on the roads that havenāt been cleared and stay out of the median or the ditches.
I live in Houston. MANY years ago, we had a nasty snow/ice storm blow through. I was on my way to work, very slowly. The guy on the radio was originally from Buffalo NY. He said, āThe best driving tip I can give you is to stay away from any car with a bumper sticker that says Native Houstonian.ā I kid you not, there was a car in front of me with that sticker, and as soon as I heard that statement on the radio, the car started sliding. I ended up calling in.
C about 1 month ago
And for chrissakes allow for longer stopping distances
Carl Premium Member about 1 month ago
For those who know how to clear snow off a car, have fun. For those who think they are piloting a ship through a porthole, dock the car.
[Traveler] Premium Member about 1 month ago
When I was in college and we had a snow day, my friends and I took the car to a deserted parking lot and had fun. We also learned a lot about how to drive in the snow.
"Doon the Watter" on the Waverley about 1 month ago
YES! This needs to be shared with horrible bosses who insist on their workers coming in when they are uncomfortable driving though. A lot of the issues are, in my opinion, because people are already nervous and not thinking clearly.
But stupidity plays a big part too. My last winter back home we had 6 ft of snow. State of Emergency declared, NJ, DE, and PA where all closed down (3 states for non-Americans) My horrible boss would not let us leave the store until 2pm when the state of emergency started, which was when we were supposed to be home, not starting for home. Grrr! Well, when I finally dug my tiny car out and got on my way, I passed so many big ole trucks stuck in the snowbanks!
Me and my tiny car with regular (and likely not new either) tires made it home without any issues, though I took to waving to all of the fancy-schmancy mega-trucks as I passed them by. Hope the tow truck drivers gave them nice lectures. ;) Or the army. In a state of emergency they patrol the roads for idiots, err, stuck drivers.
YaiDee about 1 month ago
I lived in North Carolina for 1 year and that āwinterā they got a dusting of snow, which basically shut down the city. Everyone asked why I was out on the roads and my reply was āIām from Canadaā.
Julie478 Premium Member about 1 month ago
ā¹ No Bonus Panel Today ā¹
but
Here are some weather related comics by Brian!
fowllanguagecomics.Com/?s=weather+reports
xsintricks about 1 month ago
This one says it all. At least Brian didnāt make the duck look like Jim Cantore.
John Lamb Premium Member about 1 month ago
I live in southern Oklahoma and the worst drivers we see here are from up north, like Michigan or Wisconsin. They may know how to drive on snow and ice where they have snowplows. We donāt have those here, so you have to learn to drive on the roads that havenāt been cleared and stay out of the median or the ditches.
drivingfuriously Premium Member about 1 month ago
I-290 and I-355 in Chicago had about 6 cautions for cars spun out and some hit the wall. We avoided the big one.
Julie478 Premium Member about 1 month ago
I live in Houston. MANY years ago, we had a nasty snow/ice storm blow through. I was on my way to work, very slowly. The guy on the radio was originally from Buffalo NY. He said, āThe best driving tip I can give you is to stay away from any car with a bumper sticker that says Native Houstonian.ā I kid you not, there was a car in front of me with that sticker, and as soon as I heard that statement on the radio, the car started sliding. I ended up calling in.