Andy Capp by Reg Smythe for October 22, 2024

they don’t!!!??? o_O pfffft!

OK. How about two years supply of beer?

Let’s look at the Credit rating again…….. You know Mr Capp when the Computer screen shows you a clip of the Hindenburg crashing in flames its not good !

Depends on the definition of home improvements!

A jury of Andy’s peers (layabout delinquents) could approve Andy’s view if he takes the bank to court for false advertising!

I had a 1/2 keg refrigeraror in my home…Worse thing I ever wasted money on. A neighbor wanted to borrow it, I told him I’d sell it to him at a loss. Best money I ever lost!

come on, it would keep Andy off the streets

The only thing that would improve his home would be his permanent absence from it!

Nice try, Andy.

Flo wouldn’t have to call allover town and the canal wouldn’t be disturbed.

Andy doesn’t own a home. Maybe it’s to improve the pigeons lot.

This is why I love Andy…..I love the way he thinks!

I’m Gonna Hire A Wino(To Decorate Our Home) Lyrics by David Frizzell

I came crawling home last night, like many nights beforeI finally made it to my feet as she opened up the door.And she said, “You’re not gonna do this anymore.”

She said: "I’m gonna’ hire a wino to decorate our home,“So you’ll feel more at ease here, and you won’t have to roam.“We’ll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall.“And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall.”

She said: "Just bring your Friday paycheck, and I’ll cash them all right here.“And I’ll keep on tap – for all your friends, their favorite kinds of beer.“And for you, I’ll always keep in stock, those soft aluminum cans.“And when you’re feeling macho, you can crush them like a man.”

She said: "We’ll rip out all the carpet, and put sawdust on the floor.“Serve hard boiled eggs and pretzels, and I won’t cook no more.“There’ll be Monday night football, on T.V. above the bar.“And a pay phone in the hallway, when your friends can’t find their car.”

She said: "You’ll get friendly service, and Friday atmosphere.“I’ll slip on something sexy, and I’ll cut it clear to here.“Then you can slap my bottom, every time you tell a joke.“Just as long as you keep tipping, well, I’ll laugh until you’re broke.”

Gee, why not? It’s perfectly reasonable in Andy’s mind ….

Andy should try a Home Improvement load to get him out of the house and to The Rose and Crown. That would certainly improve his home. At least according to Flo. Dilly! Dilly!

Why not? I don’t drink beer, but it would sure attract the males. lol

Say what you may but Andy has guts……

Party Pooper

Have to pay the loan off, Andy. That may mean work.

Kinda runs counter to the needs of the alcoholic.

Come on over Andy, I have a home bar, and a kegerator I just restocked with two kegs. That should get you through the weekend.

I don’t think Flo is gonna go for that anyway, she wants you out of the house as much as possible.

There was an old country song: I’m gonna to hire a wino, to decorate our home. (But now the preferred term is oenophile, hard to write a country song about that)

A home bar would actually improve the community in that Andy would stay home getting drunk instead of going out and causing trouble.

Leave it to Andy to want a home bar and a yearsupply of beer

Leave it to Andy to want a home bar and a yearsupply of beer.

Okay, how about just the beer?

Flo might have more discouraging words as well.

She said, "I’m gonna’ hire a wino to decorate our home,

So you’ll feel more at ease here, and you won’t need to roam.

We’ll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall,

and a neon sign will point the way, to our bathroom down the hall"….