Sherman's Lagoon by Jim Toomey for November 20, 2024

That money was just sitting around doing nothing anyway.

What’ll you use for dues next month?

Life savings = 3 dead seals and a gross of mackerel

Then they will be too poor to be qualified to be accepted into the country club.

Megan is beginning to remind me of Hyacinth Bucket (“Boo-KAY”).

Years ago, I read an article, I don’t remember but it might have been in Esquire Mag., about a guy who had been such a regular guest of one of the members at a golf country club that staff and members thought he was a member. He started showing up alone or with a guest of his own to golf and have lunch. He would even bring a client with him to seal a deal over cocktails. Then he showed up for the club’s open board meetings and somehow got elected to the board as he had networked everyone there. Twelve years later an audit of membership accounts revealed he wasn’t on the books as a member. Because he had been a productive club member and had accumulated so many members as clients, he was given a membership gratis. Personally, I believe it was just the expedient thing to do to avoid the embarrassment of his non-membership grift getting out.

Yeah, leaving Sherman’s name off the application may have worked, Megan, but now you’re faced with the problem of what will happen when you actually bring him along to the club. They’d still reject you nonetheless.

I think you’ll both regret this move.

As Groucho Marx said, “I wouldn’t belong to any club that would have me as a member.”…

“We” got in? It’s “I” got in. Sherman can stay home and take care of Herman.

So, what are they going to do next month?

I don’t golf but maybe I can get a golf cart – ICE 2 stroke, put a water cooled system, modify the heads, after market tail pipe and maybe a shot of N2O just to surprise the guy in a car at the stop light for about 50 yards.

Now Meg has to fake being rich. And hide Sherman in a closet when club members visit.