The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for November 21, 2024

Valentine’s Day already?

I will be performing a turkey breast reduction procedure next week, and transplanting what I remove into my stomach.

Don’t mention Tyson after that fight last week!

Gasp! They got those on the brown market!

Let’s talk turkey!

Oh, stuff it!

If you’re going to deep fry the turkey, do yourself a favor. Thaw it out first. No more videos of frozen turkey’s bubbling over and causing the deck or garage to catch on fire.

With this operation the doctor will be on the gravy train.

This came from Abby something

A fresh package of Gilberts. (It’s a long story)

Nurse, hand me the baster!

I love gizzards and hearts.

Turkey giblets weren’t available so we’ll have to substitute chicken giblets, instead. No more “gobble gobble”. Now it’s “cackle cackle”.

I like poultry hearts and livers.

The other doctor can’t recognize a heart? S/He may be a quack.

The nurse should be more “organ”ized.

It’s the chewy piece.

The best heart donors are lawyers. Their hearts have never been used.

to have a nurse that’s scatterbrained is simply offal…

Ew, ew, just… no, no, this one missed my funny bone by a mile and exploded in my disgust plexus.

Given the last pack of giblets I opened, it’s a crap shoot as to whether there’s even a heart in there. Or maybe 3.