Bottom Liners by Eric and Bill Teitelbaum for January 09, 2025

Really loves his car.

Due to the cost of both a car payment and auto insurance, he couldn’t afford his mortgage.

Porsche: It’s a little too small to get laid in. But you get laid the minute you get out

A lot of people have “the illusion of prosperity” only to be a house of cards away from disaster.

I always figured if I ever bought a boat it’d have to be a big, live-aboard. Because I’d have to sell everything I own to buy it.

And soon he will be arrested for the crime of being homeless.

Jay Leno: I bought a Porsche Carrera GT and took it to the race tract for a few laps and as I rounded the last turn I lifted off the gas and the car spun around, didn’t crash thank God. For perspective, it was a Porsche Carrera GT that Paul Walker was in when he died, it is a car that demands an experienced driver and Roger Rodas was a very experienced race car driver. It is believed that the tires were at fault.

a girl I dated was named Porsche…

I mean, if it weren’t for the whole “wife and kids” thing, I’d be OK with that.