Free Range by Bill Whitehead for February 11, 2025

Meet Dr. “Mal” Practice.

that has been always a Monday.

Sorry! Nevermind! (Wrong spouse!)

They were x-raying to find lost clamps and found his watch and keys.

Dr Drake

Those are not the words you want to hear from your surgeon who is operating on your loved one

She was ready for the bad news. She heard you say OOOOPS! a few times.

What he said before leaving the OR was even worse: “you carrion without me”.

That cuts too close to the bone.

What do you mean, Dr. Achey?

Funny, I don’t remember “having the life insurance agent on speed dial” as one of the stages of grieving.

What’s left to do correctly?

She already knows…with that statement….☹️

He took the kidney out of the left side.

He was absent from class the day they taught bedside manner.

Last month I went into urgent care for a nasty sinus infection that had gotten into my eye. The doctor told me I had a life-threatening infection that could affect my brain and I needed to go to the hospital immediately. She left the room to write up her instructions for the ER. I was on the phone with my wife who asked me whether to call the kids and let them know I might be on the brink of death when the doctor came rushing back in and said, “No, I made a mistake. I misread the radiology report on your CT scan. Take the antibiotics I’m prescribing and you’ll be fine, but come back in two days.” I came back in two days and a different doctor also thought it might be life threatening and I could lose my eye so he sent me to an ophthalmologist for an emergency evaluation. So I went there and that doctor didn’t even examine me. She just asked me if I was taking the antibiotic and was I feeling ok. I said yes to both. She said she’d seen the scan and my chart and if I finished the antibiotics I should recover just fine and didn’t need to be seen." Then my regular ophthalmologist, whom I had tried to get in to see originally but couldn’t since it was a holiday, wanted me to come in to be examined. I said no. Three doctor visits was enough. I recovered just fine.

Dum, da dum dum!

His insurance agent has told him, time and again, not to be so honest !!

hopefully she has her lawyer on speedial!

Right she’s trying to think if ever got around to making a will.

Not what I wanted to see today! I’m having knee replacement surgery tomorrow!

The lady’s name is Susan Punchzmen. Watch out, doc!

Sometimes the fit hits the shan…