Herman by Jim Unger for February 18, 2025

The “illustrated radio” trope.

Even if it is paper.

Do they sell Doritos that are the same size and shape as a plate?

I was in a bar a long time ago and this young guy that I knew bit a bar glass and ate the shards. Jack, the bartender and owner immediately kicked him out. Never saw the dude again. ( I don’t think he died or was hurt?)

Hasn’t he heard of the old riddle “You buy these thing to eat, but never to eat. What are they?”

Would a plate of china be considered as Chinese food?

Well, play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Or in his case, be an idiot, do idiotic things. Now, he gets the hospital bill for a perforated colon, a ripped esophagus, a sliced up stomach, and if he doesn’t hurry, a julienned anushole.

A lyric in the song Candy Man says that you can eat the dishes

This isn’t Willy Wonka’s factory, you know.

It’s better than the food you cook…

It tastes better than your cooking.

He sure is spoiled and pathetic if he can’t fix himself something else to eat besides the dinnerware.

Au contraire. I want to watch him eat it.

If it was blue, it’d be the Blue Plate Special.

Check out the gastronomic records in the Guinness book. It’s full of surprises

She’s certainly not the Candy Man, so I doubt that everything she makes is so delicious that “you can even eat the dishes!”

It actually tastes better than your cooking dear……

You could’ve at least added some cheese or something to give it flavor.

Learn to cook, Herman.

Plate tastes better than your cooking!

Or, here’s an idea, and I’m just spit-balling here – MAKE YOUR OWN D*MN DINNER!