Herman by Jim Unger for February 19, 2025

Because most criminals are no-account.

There’s no accounting for the things some people say

Did the bank robber remember to bring something like a bag to put money in? If not, he might have to set the gun down to carry all the money.

In Lebanon this was actually the only way some people were able to make withdrawals from their own account.

Yes, and he’ll need 3 forms of I.D.

Tried to withdraw some cash yesterday & I was told “We are a cashless bank.” I was directed to use their ATM.

The worst crooks own the bank.

This is the reason he was the last of the male bank tellers.

He looks dumb enough to hand you his ID and fill out the forms and stuff. You’ll get a promotion for this.

Maybe they could also set him up with a safety deposit box to put his gun in.

Will he get a free toaster?

“No thank you, I’m going to use my local credit union because they have better rates.”

Do I get a gift?

and you’ll get a free toaster. Let’s get the new account paper work.

Hopefully, the guy gave him $2 bills for cash. Spending those will make him a celebrity.

Carrying all that money could get you robbed by a bigger robber with a bigger gun.

He just needs the money to buy a dozen eggs

Oy!

Now THAT, is a salesman……

There are no armed guards in most banks anymore. The guards would cost more than the funds that they keep in the bank.

um… didn’t think to wear a mask?… (unless that’s a rubber mask left over from last halloween??)

“Are you kidding, I don’t want to get robbed.”

The last upsell.

Reminds me of a friend who was held-up in daylight on a street corner not far from Capital Hill in DC. “I don’t have time for this,” she said. She left the would-be thief dumbfounded, stepped into the street, stopped traffic and walked away.

Not the recommended option nor the safest, but it worked for her.

Famous last words of a teller.