Free Range by Bill Whitehead for February 23, 2025

The “Clod” Squad.

The mask should be worn over the nose this season and never say names out loud.

gay caballeros?

The mismatched kerchiefs go with the mismatched hats and the mismatched shirts and the mismatched and the mismatched vests and the mismatched horses and the mismatched horse blankets and the mismatched boots.

“Yes, I know. But we need the money so badly for those positively randy new drapes you’ve been raving about, Gerald. C’mon.. let’s ride in and give ‘em heck.. c’mon… la la lalala la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..”

One red and one green, The Apple Dumpling Gang?

“Quick, ride back to Brokeback Mountain and grab the pair we got for our anniversary!”

“That’ll work out jus’ fine, Caleb. Everyone in the bank will be lookin’ at our fashion faux pas and not even notice that we’re robbin’ ’em of every dollar they got.”

Dad-gummed? Does that mean that Pop lost his dentures?

Gasp! Better hold off til we can get to the general store…

“Holdup! Holdup! Let’s do this right.”

That’s okay, you look like durn fools without the kerchiefs.

Don’t dilly-dally, make hay while the sun shines.

Yeah, where’s the unity.