F Minus by Tony Carrillo for March 27, 2025

or else, the ICE will be after you

Cool, Elvish lives (and he’s skinny again).

Ditch the quiver lad, it’s a dead giveaway. With luck, they’ll think you’re a Trekkie.

They met in the Last Homely House gift shop, he was working the register.

Maybe instead of saying he has an Elvish try saying he has an Elvis background.

Crouching on the back of the couch, waiting for pre to emerge from the forest, may elicit an inquiry or two.

Don’t say you’re Elvish until you’ve left the building.

I’m sure they’ll figure it out unless they are that oblivious.

The big question the elf would have to ask himself if they get married and have children together is “Shall I forsake the Doom of Elves for the Doom of Men?” The children would have a similarly fraught decision to make. That makes human-human relationships look like a breeze in comparison.

Dad: “Leggo my lass.”

I think he should be Elven, not Elvish…to stay true to LotR.

They’ll know he’s delusional on-sight.

Are you kidding? They should be thrilled that you are dating a superior species!

No more or less inter-racial than Aragorn and Arwen.

With luck they’ll think your Spock.

One does not simply walk into Mordor – was not what was supposed to be the line for Sean Bean, they handed him the change just before filming so he taped it on his thigh and looked down to read it then looks up after.