Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for May 28, 2011

he must have eaten some musical fruit…

That pattern in the 8×8 square is a knight’s tour. It traces the path of a knight as it touches every square on a chess board.

Gandma Mag:‘Is Using a Cake Mix Still Considered Cheating?’

Toot! Toot!

6.5 7.0 7.0 6.5 7.0

as best as I can recall… there was a time when MzB used this exact figure as her avatar… trying to tell us you have a bit of flatulence, MzB ??

Grandma Mag. How Bingo can supplement your Social Security.OrIf you don’t play right I’m leaving everything to JimmyOrMy son should have never married your mother.orYes Jimmy, your Daddy always rubbed my feet as a child.

Is this the “butt tweet” that was referrenced in Doonesbury earlier this week?

Grandma Mag: “You will sit there until you eat every last bite of that okra gumbo!”Dust mites: I am officially creeped out.Nigeria: Any questions about why this is a failed state?

That reminds me – time to practice the trumpet

Next, Tweety will turn into a goat.

It’s Riverfest music festival time here in LR, and Mother was quite the celebrity all day (and all night) yesterday after she bribed the promoters with presciption painkillers she has been hoarding asked the organizers to run the cover of Grandma Monthly on the Jumbotron over the Zig-Zag “Party Till You Puke!” main stage. Mother stayed up WAY past her bedtime with her new friend Sweet Sweet Connie, who seemed to be very familiar with ALL the members of ALL the bands.

Mother exhausted herself taking in each band’s performance (they let her watch from backstage), and every one of those nice musical artists let her relax in their dressing rooms after they played. Those nice music boys even locked the doors and stayed with her so she wouldn’t be disturbed while she napped (I guess they were guarding her privacy so she could rest – at least that’s what the guards who wouldn’t let me past security told me. I tried to tell them that I had Mother’s aerosol puffer in case she had an asthma attack, but those unfriendly men (most of them looked like Vlad and those big eared Griner brothers, only not as intelligent or articulate) said she didn’t seem to be having any trouble inhaling).

Anyway, they had a limo bring us home this morning (gee those guys were swell), and Mother is sleeping off a massive hangover resting quietly now. I’m sure she’ll want to thank Teresa for the additional free publicity when she comes to and returns from the emergency appointment I made for her with her gynechologist wakes up and has her coffee.

Terrance and Phillip’s pet bird?

I lived through that blizzard in North Dakota and many others. The wind would blow drifts of snow and we would get a drift that piled up against the wall of our old two story house. I would open the window on the second floor and slide down the drift. What fun!

re: Grandma

Viagra. Why Grammy Doesn’t Always Answer The Phone.

Dear Teresa (and the Mentats locoowl and jtpozonel who deduced the contents of this “comment” years ago after an overdose of glanders juice and some bad lagagna), It was very nice of you to feature the upcoming front cover of the Granny Rag while you were google blogging on the internut tubes early this morning (if all the recent kindnesses you have shown me were bon bons, my butt would be as big as a bass fiddle). As my Rotty noted above, I was quite busy last night with all those “performers” and they’re “gigging” and whatnot. Something I found myself saying over and over again in those dressing rooms between sets made me think of a headline for your little contest: “Come here and let me kiss that boo boo.” Sincerely,

Rotifer’s Mother

Grandma Mag: If you are not careful, your face will freeze like that!

BTW, the FA for today gives an new meaning for the word “twitter” does it not??

Little Darlings Not Well? Latest Tips on Chicken Soup!

Gran Mag I don’t care what everyone else is doing. If they jumped off a bridge, would you?"

Ventilation on the funny pages. It’s gotta go somewhere.

We? I was wondering if you’re royalty since you use “we”. And you forgot one of T’s ts. Two t’s in her last name.

We are not disturbing. We are just disturbed.

Sorry to hear about your mental health problem. Diogenes Syndrome.

Introducing a new anti-social media: Pooter.A missing version of the Mona Lisa:

Grandma Mag: “Rotifer, can you help me with my computer?”

I had an asthma attack just looking at those darn dust mites!!!

Whistle whilst you walk