Basic Instructions by Scott Meyer for July 10, 2011

Omnipresent in a Sick Way Man.

Omnipresent Man does not have a life I would want. I think I spotted him in the shower the other day, and I’m not quite the swimsuit model I once was… but then, who is? Must s*** to be him. Really.

Omnipresent Man is watching you poop. Unless Phil Spector is there already.

Omnipresent Man is Santa Claus! Now the physics make perfect sense! He doesn’t have to travel all over the world. He’s already THERE!

I hope they don’t bring up the incident. We’re not supposed to talk about that anymore.

OK, I must have missed the first run — who’s the Codpiece Guy?

Codpiece guy is Scott from the future, here to deliver a dire message to his younger self (Don’t get a motor scooter, you’ll break your collar bone). He’s wearing a codpiece to protect everyone from his radioactive junk. http://basicinstructions.net/basic-instructions/2010/12/30/how-to-travel-back-in-time-to-deliver-a-dire-warning-to-your.html

Know what’s worse? When Omnipresent Man “goes to the bathroom,” he goes EVERYWHERE.

He’s stuck with the rad junk, until the courts overturn the cancelation of Yucca Mtn…. then we can bury him

ambiguously specific?! very nice………. I’m inside your codpeice snkr…..radioactive junk…snkr…..hahahaha