Brewster Rockit by Tim Rickard for September 12, 2011

Yeah, clean up yer act, Earthlings.

… that’s a good idea anyway … all that space junk is beginning to make our own launches more dangerous! Remember kids, good hygiene means good health! Clean up those nasty old satellites before one of them bashes in your new satellites!

When even O-dor of Uranus thinks you’re too dirty, it’s time to re-evaluate things.

1.Are you planning on moving soon?

No? Okay, next question.

2. Do you enjoy paying high property taxes?

No? Okay.

Then why are you worried about property values going down? Your property taxes will go down too.

Hey, before you pick on us how about cleaning that messy asteroid belt?

Hey, that junk would make for good target practise for the R U Sirius crew -—

Hey O-dor, ‘people in glass houses’ . . . When’re you going to clean up your own yard??

It’s a shame people don’t realize how exceedingly difficult it is to clean up a bolt or paint chip flying around the Earth at 17,000 mph. Especially considering the only proper course would be an orbital laser that would break god knows how many UN agreements.

This guy had better not be like the Keanu Klaatu.

Do you mean the orbiting laser that we don’t talk about that we already have up there?

So O-dor…. how do you explain those rings around Uranus, hmmmmm??

Since there are astronauts already up there, maybe they can swat some of that junk with a stick or something and send it in Earth’s direction over an ocean; whatever doesn’t burn up won’t hit anyone.

Given the budget we’re currently giving NASA, we aren’t going to be launching much up there anyway!

This brings to mind an old “Max Headroom” ep. where they were celebrating Sky Cleansing Day, where everybody comes out to watch the old satilites renter and burn up..\\//_

Got a big one coming down late this month or early next. Stay tuned.

I’m sure somebody’s already set up rental storage units on the dark side of the moon so we can get rid of that junk. Those storage places are everywhere.