Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 20, 2012

… crap, now somebody’s gonna do this in real life …

needs more cowbell, man.

The yapping is worse. I am not interested in your petty stupid lives and their boring idiocy. SHUT the heck up in Public, go outside, in a closet, not where I have to hear you. Or put up with me making comments, most far more intelligent than your conversations. OMG im rat!

Someone once sold a CD of nothing but fart noises. That would make for an interesting ringtone, especially if the phone’s owner doesn’t know about it.

One of Murphy’s newer laws: The more annoying the ringtone, the longer it takes someone to answer it.

The ability to make calls on an airplane will be the last straw for me flying.

Coffee? —Spilled, of course. Beer? —Spilled. Plate of food? —Spilled. Rating of Rat’s ringtone? —Priceless! Today, I am on Rat’s side again, even though I find that an uncomfortable place.

The “ringtone” I hate the most is the one most popular here with grandparents, of their grandchild yelling “GRAMMA! PHONE!!”

Supid rat. Spilled his own beer.

Your standing over a three foot putt to win a five dollar bet, and suddenly you hear" SWEET HOME ALABAMA" and blow the putt ten feet past the up. Happened to me. So I answred my phone.

I MUST get that ringtone.

When cell phones first became ubiquitous, Zippy the Pinhead was talking with Griffy (alter ego of the producer), looking at a bunch of people yapping away. They say things like “Look at those people with things too important to wait until they get home or to the office” “Crucial things” – then it zooms into the people who are saying things like “I’m going around the corner now”, “I just came from Starbucks”, “So what are YOU wearing?”

Great ringtone: “The sound of a 50-ton diesel truck with a full load of live pigs locking up the brakes at ninety miles per hour”.

Kudos to anyone who can identify the source of that line.

I think that’s a neat ringtone. I would like to download it someplace to help offset teh other annoying ringtones I always hear.

No coffee was spilled today.

Even worse than the ringtones and conversations are the people who have to stop in the middle of the aisle to conduct the conversation.

its all a matter of respect, Self respect and respect for others. Rare qualities these days.

LOL LOL…. Excellent!

I wouldn’t mind hearing what that sounds like.

xxx

put the gators back

My ring tone is called Whistling Wizard. It’s a catchy melody…I wrote lyrics for it……

My ring tone sounds like a ringing telephone.

Oh, Pastis! That’s the funniest comic I’ve seen all year – maybe ever!

When they permit cellphones on airplanes, I’ll need help from Michael Jackson’s doctor to get me through the flights.

Annoyance is in the mind of the beholder.

Ha ha ha ha!!! That is sooo…

B-U-U-U-R-R-P

I frequenty take public transportation, and the things people talk about while on the phone…I once had to listen for ten minutes while the person in the seat behind me was in the middle of a phone conversation about a very explicit sexual encounter. I wanted to cover my ears!!

My husband’s ring tone is perfect: “Who Are You?” by The Who (of course).

Way to go Rat. Keep up the good work. This and throwing the guy off the roof top diner are my faves.

It could be worse. There are those people who tell stories that are both boring and TMI, but instead of telling them to someone on the phone, they sit next to you and tell them to you. (My mother is a magnet for such folk, poor thing.)

nice.

i’m with rat here

Throw all the Minecraft ambience noises together, maybe a little bass boost and use that as your ringtone instead, Rat.

So is that Rat’s life philosophy: Overcoming that which you detest by BECOMING that which you detest?

someone out there just tried to make this ringtone

BEST. PBS. EVER.

I’m tempted to use howler monkey calls as my ringtone. Or koala mating bellows. Anything that will make people jump.